When Hell Froze Over
by Skye Charcol Marie
Summary: What happens when you mix a regular werewolf with Akatsuki who decide to move in out of no where. You get Hell in a small bedroom.
1. Infomercial

**I do not own any of the characters you meet in this fic.  
If I did… do you think I'd waste my time with this! Pff!  
**

Hey! My name is Skye. Not that you'd care too much, but this is whole story sort of revolves around my obsessions.

Wow. That sentence sucked big time! Let's try this again.

Salutations!

No! Why the hell can't I fucking write an introduction!

Alright. One more time. And if I can't get it write… we'll skip this whole damn section.

My name is Skye. I'm a werewolf and I live with anime characters for some sickening reason.

There. Can't get any simpler than that. I can do this writing crap too! Amazing. Just fucking amazing.

K. So. Where to being. How about day 1. Yeah, let's start on day 1 of my nightmare.

Intro.

K. So you know how people like to soak up other people's pain… well let's get one thing strait… if pain-soaking was a drug, this story will have you ODing by the time I'm done. I know I did. It was fun! When I recovered everything looked all- Hospitally… doctors scrambling… I hate doctors… they're like sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream.

Ok. Anyhoo, where was I, oh yeah. So, I'm a werewolf. You know; the teeth, the claws, the fur, the tail, the GRRR!! But unlike urban folk tales, I don't change in the full moon, I don't each little kids or your small little rat-like dogs. Just picture your average black wolf… only 2 times bigger with a blue and brown eye. There! Moi! We hunt in packs. We are related. It's a genetic thing. Grandparents have the gene. Parents don't. The third generation has the gene. My kids won't. My grandkids will. And so on and so forth.

K. To the living with anime peeps. One day I was walking home from school and I thought… hey, I like Naruto. Shut up! I know it's random, but cut me some slack!  
There. Just for that. You have the wait until the next chapter.


	2. Meat Potato Chip Plant and Pumpkin

**I do not own the lines from Juno in this chapter. I just love it A LOT. **

So before I was rudely interrupted by the WTF moment, I was walking home from school and I thought… hey, I like Naruto. I walked through my front door, said Hi to my fat dog, grabbed my cat and my favorite movie; Juno, and headed to my room. I glanced at the clock; 3:24 PM. My mom won't be back until 5 and my dad won't be home until 9. But I had about 20 minutes before my sister got home. Great. I grabbed my laptop out of my bag and headed up the stairs.

Mid step I froze. Something upstairs crashed to the floor. I dropped my cat gently on the carpet and told him to scurry away which he did and placed my laptop on the landing. I grabbed the sword off the wall, (which I was very skilled with actually) and trotted up the stairs.

Now, I know that in the case of a burglar being in your house, you call the cops then head for the hills, but in this case, I don't think whoever was in there was interested in what I had in my drawers. Plus, I was a fucking wolf! I could easily handle whatever this guy had. Unless it was a silver bullet… then I was practically screwed… yeah.

Ok. So I crossed the balcony hall and quietly turned the knob. The room was dark from lack of windows but it was obviously bright enough to see 10 figures standing in the bedroom. Ok. I was just kidding about taking on one guy. Screw this, I wanted to live!

But it was too late. They already hear me. One with medium length spiky orange hair turned to look at me. His face had 4 piercings on the bridge of his nose and I counted 7 earrings on each ear. Plus a bridged bar across the ear. Oh and here's the good part, he had snake bite piercings below his lip. His eyes were orange like his hair, but here's the weird part, his eyes were swirly. Like staring into a rippled pond. He stepped away from the group and looked down at me (I'm not the tallest person in the world) and spoke in a voice that wasn't too old… I mean he wasn't old enough to be my dad.

"Who are you?" He asked me.

"Uh. No. I won't answer that."

"You will." He ordered.

"Do you have a gun?"

"Gun? Uh, no… what's a gun?"

"You're not from around here are you?"

He shook his head and I laughed inside.

"So. You're not from here, yet you're ordering me around like you are… not very smart on your part pal." I flicked on the light switch; weird hell-like faces stared at me. A guy with blue skin and a freaking 6 foot like sword attached to his back stared at me with demonic 'I want to kill you' eyes. Another man standing next to him looked at me with red eyes. Most of his face was hidden behind his 

cloak collar and his black hair. But his blood red eyes were hypnotizing. I finally broke away and stared into a small man with red hair. Nothing seems dangerous about him at the moment. A blonde man with long hair tied in a ponytail stood at his side, his left eye was covered by his bangs. I still saw no danger like I did in the first three. Next was a semi-tall man- like my dad sized- who wore an orange swirly mask that reminded me of something from that Halloween movie… He was clinging to the blonde man and asking him questions… oh crap… he's gonna get on my nerves… I see a breakdown coming with that one. Onto the next queer. There was freakishly tall green and black guy with a plant surrounding his head. I almost burst out laughing.

"What?" The plant man snapped.

"What the fuck are you supposed to be? A Venus Fly Trap?" My laughter came out in bits and pieces as I spoke.

"Venus Fly Trap?!"  
"Calm yourself." He said  
"Why?" He asked himself.

"Oh my God! Oh Shit! Phuket, Thailand!!" I yelled, "It freaking talks to itself…!"

The group stared at me.

I shook my head and went back to examining the rest of the bunch. After the plant thingy was a pretty smexy guy. He had white slicked hair and a scythe that had 3 sickles. He wore a necklace that reminded me of the pentacle I wore, but it was different…this guy was definitely someone to worry about. Next to _him_ was a guy who totally and completely gave me the heeby jeebies. His entire face was covered by a mask, except for his eyes. They were just emerald green circles in his sockets. Not pupil or iris. Just green space! Lastly was a chick. Thank God! She had blue hair, ok I can work with that, and a lip piercing, not too bad. Ok. So the chick was your average punk.

I stared at all of their faces one last time. All of their eyes were fixated on me. The door behind me shut.

"What the hell? Is this going to turn out like one of those gay horror flicks where I'm violently cut in half, my organs spilling onto the floor and I get eaten, still half alive?"

More weird stares. This is getting old.

Everyone, including me, jumped when the phone wrung. I slowly crawled my way through all the freaks in my room to get to the phone. I tripped on the guy with red eye's foot and almost collided with the wall. I steadied myself, fixing my hair and casually answered the phone.

"Yo yo yiggity yo!" Came a familiar voice. Thank god it wasn't my mother. I gave a relieved sigh and put the phone on speaker.

"Tami?" I said.

"No it's Morgan Freeman. Who else?"

"Sorry then."

"What's up? You were supposed to meet us at Dunkin Doughnuts after school!"

Shit. "Uh, yeah I forgot. I got tied up with, uh," I turned to look at all the faces who were watching me, "I got tied up with, company…?"

"Company? Honest to blog?"

"I know right."

"You _never_ and I mean _NEVER_ have company. Your family is like totally anti-social."

"Yeah. Thanks for making my folks sound like A holes!"

"Hey, it's how it goes, hun. So Dunkin Doughnuts tomorrow then?"

"No go, homeskillet. I got Cameron coming."

"Damn, girl. That guy always ruins your fun!"

I stared into the face of the guy with freaky piercings all over his face, "I don't think he's the only one."

"Omg. Did I tell you Emily's pregnant?!" Tami shouted.

The men in my room perked up somewhat. Freaks. "Really? It's probably just a food baby. Did she have a big lunch?"

"No it's not a food baby. She took like 3 pregnancy tests and she's forshizz up the spout."

"How did she even generate enough pee for _three_ pregnancy tests? That's amazing…"

"She drank like her whole weight in Sunny D."

"Oh Shit! She's pregnant!"

"No shit Sherlock!"

There was a beep on the phone I looked to see Cameron's number on the other line.

"Dammit. Cam is on the other line. I should take this."

"Ooh. Good luck. Don't die on me while he's there. K?"

"K. See you at school."

"Later." The line went dead. Then the phone began ringing with Cameron's number again.

I turned to the bunch of queers in my room , "Should I answer it?" I asked no one in particular.

They said nothing.

I tisked with my tongue, "Uhhh… no." I let the answering machine get it.

"Who was that?" A voice came and I realized it was the annoying guy in the Halloween mask.

"Cousin." I sighed, "Damn queer is more like it."

No one spoke.

"Alright. Seriously. Why are you here?" I finally said.

"Why are _you_ here, hm?" The blonde man spoke.

"Uh. I like, live here and stuff… Alright. Since I can't make you leave, let's get names strait… cause I suck at names. I'll start. I'm Skye."

The perky orange masked guy stepped forward, "I'm Tobi!"

Then the blonde, "I'm Deidara."

The orange haired man next to him said, "Sasori."

The plant man spoke next, "Zetsu."

The white haired guy with the scythe stepped forward, "Hidan."

Then the green eyes creep, "Kakuzu."

The dark haired man with red eyes spoke next, "Itachi Uchiha."

Then his blue companion, "Kisame."

Next was the blue haired punk chick, "Konan

Lastly, (thank God!) was the guy with piercings, "Pein."

"Wait… Pein like Pain? What the hell is that all about… his name is somewhat normal I guess…? Anyhoo. Is that it?"

They all nodded.

"Great. Cause I think my sister's home… be right back."

Pein grabbed my shoulder, "No."

"You can't tell me what to do!" He didn't speak.

I snapped. I Changed in my wolf form and lunged at him, my razor sharp teeth piercing the flesh in his leg. He cried out.

I Changed back and wiped the blood off my mouth.

"What the hell are you?" The man called Hidan asked.

"None of your goddanged business!" I snapped and trudged out of the room.

"Skye! I'm home!" My older sister Mira called from the kitchen.

"I'm upstairs, Mira!"

There was clattering as she came up the steps. I closed my door behind me and stood against it.

"What are you doing?" She asked when she saw me.

"Oh you know, just chillaxing."

"Uh-huh." There was a moan from the inside of my room, "What was that?"

"TV?"

"Right. And what's that on your shirt?"

I looked down and saw blood splotches. Crap, "Uh. Ketchup?"

She sniffed me, being a wolf too; she had a perfect nose just like me, "Blood. What happened? Who's in there?"

"Mira, there's no one in there!"

"I don't believe you." She shoved me aside and turned the knob. She stepped through the door and shrieked, "Skye get in here NOW!!"

I hid my face and stalked inside.

"What are the Akatsuki doing in your room?!"

"Akatsuki? Oh right! Uh… well… you see… I… Happy Birthday!"

"My birthday isn't for another 3 months."

"Well… happy… Thanksgiving!"

"Thanksgiving isn't for 4 months."

"Uh… Happy Halloween?"

"No."

"Ugh fine! I was walking home from school reading Naruto aloud and opened my door and voila!"

She hugged me, "This is great!"

I stared at her dumbfounded, "HUH?!"

"This is the best thing to happen to us since we found out we were wolves!"

"That wasn't a good thing!"

"Sure it was!"

"Uh, no it wasn't as you recall… it was painful!"

"Oh whatever! Well, aren't you going to introduce me?!"

"Uh, why not." I reluctantly said.

As I introduced my 9 month older sister to; Pein, Konan, Hidan, Kakuzu, Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Sasori, Tobi, and Zetsu I started to think; What the hell am I doing! And What the hell am I going to do!


	3. Boat Shaped Circle

"Hey a shiny nickel!" Tobi exclaimed.

I sighed, sitting at my computer, attempting to drown out the 10 S-rank ninja with blasting music.

"Shut that off!" Pein snapped.

"Make me!"

"Maybe I will!"

"Ok then."

Though of course, there was no confrontation, to the disappointment of Hidan and Kisame.

"I can't reach the nickel!" Tobi was attempting to reach under the bed which lay close to the ground.

"Nickel? I want a nickel!" I shrieked.

"No! It's mine!" Tobi argued.

"It's my room. So whatever you find in here is mine." I folded her arms with a look saying, 'in your fucking pumpkin face, bitch.'

"It's mine if I get hold of it!"

I sighed again. I stood and crossed the room. I placed my hand through the small hole between the bed and floor, and with my sick, nasty, awesome, inhuman, amazing, (I could go on all day but will save you the agony and possible envy) wolf powers, I lifted the bed up in the air with one hand and used the other to grab the nickel and stick it in my pocket.

I grinned ear to ear with a small chuckle and placed the bed back down. I received multiple 'scared out of my mind' stares along with 'please don't kill me' stares. Oh! And don't forget Tobi's 'I want my mommy' stare. Though it was a little difficult to see through his mask… but I knew. I always know.

"That makes no sense!" Deidara exclaimed.

"What doesn't?" I asked him.

"How you always know, hm…"

I paused mid-step and turned to look at him, "How did you know I said that?"

"Instinct?"

"Men don't have insightful instinct… Women do… unless…."

"No! Don't go there, hm!"

I shook my head and ran my fingers through my hair, "O-Okay then…."

"Skye!" I heard my name, "Skye, I need your help!!"

I banged my head against the wall, "What Mira?"

"Just get your ass down here!"

I grimaced, shrugged, then trudged down the stairs. Mira was in the kitchen, a kitchen knife in her hand, a steak on the table, and a cook book face open next to her.

"Tell me something…" She began, taking a few steps towards me. I turned and noticed Hidan, Itachi, and Kakuzu behind me.

I turned back to Mira who was now inches from me, I screamed and raised my hands in defense.

She jumped, "What? What is it??

"Put the knife down and we can talk about this… whatever I did… IT WASN'T MY FAULT!!"

She blinked, glanced at her knife, groaned and slammed the knife down on the table, "Ugh. Moron. NO! I needed help finding the spices."

I straitened, "Oh." I fixed my hair, and bounced to the cabinet in the back corner, "Here they are. Cam rearranged everything a few days ago."

"Thanks."

I nodded and skipped back upstairs, pushing through Hidan, Itachi, and Kakuzu so I could get back upstairs.

Upstairs I was still blasting music, ignoring Tobi, and was on the verge of exploding.

I filled a glass of water and was just about to pop and Advil in my mouth when I was suddenly glomped from behind. I fell to the floor as the weight of somebody crushed my ribcage.

"Ah, fuck." I had spilled my water.

"SKYE!"

"Maddy?" The figure made an 'mhm' sound.

I attempted to reach for Hidan scythe so I could whack her off, but her weight kept me from moving.

"Get off, fatty!"

"Hm. I thought you'd be happy to see me," Maddy laughed, Pein appearing in the threshold of the door by my feet, apparently surprised to see me being pinned.

"Technically, Maddy, I can't see a fricking thing right now… I'm eating my carpet…"

"Oh. Is it yummy?"

"Yeah it tastes like Orange Glow."

"Really?" She cocked her head.

"No not really! Get off, I can't breathe!"

She slid off my back and plopped to the floor. She looked up at Pein with a smile. Her smile instantly vanished. She did a double-take of the nin a shrieked, "Skye, there's an appalling creature in your house…"

"No. You're talking about Zetsu. _That_ is Pein." I pointed to the man in the door.

"Pein? Like in _Pain_?"

"Yeah."

"What the hell? Maddy ish confuzzled!"

"Confuzzled?" Sasori said, sitting up on my bed with one of my books. I had hardly noticed he was there. "Is that even a word?"

Maddy screamed again.

"Ugh. Look what you did!" I groaned.

"What _we_ did?!" Sasori snapped.

I nodded, I went to calm Maddy when all of a sudden she leaped to her feet, "I LOVE THIS SONG!!" _Killing Loneliness_ by HIM had started playing on iTunes.

Pein went to say something, but I answered his question already, "Yeah. She's fine."

As Maddy went to sit in my chair I sat cross-legged on the floor. I suddenly got a shiver and went to my closet. I pulled out my favorite long-sleeved shirt and went into the bathroom to change into it. I came out to see all 10 Akatsuki members socializing with Maddy in what seemed to be a lopsided friendship circle… though you couldn't say it was a circle… it was more of a triangular oval, or boat shaped… well… onward!

"Skye, you're friends are interesting."

"They're not my friends." I answered instantly and automatically.

"Would some rum change your mind?" Maddy chuckled.

"Completely and immediately!" I jumped, rousing laughter.

I sat between Maddy and Plant Man. You know, that would be an amazing super hero name.

"No it wouldn't!" Everyone shouted at me.

"How is everyone suddenly able to read my thought blerps!!" I threw my hands up.

Everyone shrugged.

I ran my hair through my long brown hair, "Well. Whatever."

**How will this friendship circle end? Will Skye ever figure out why everyone can read her mind? Is it a technical difficulty? Actually… that's a pretty good explanation… But let's wait and find out!**


	4. Royal Flush I Won Your Shirt

I don't feel like explaining what happened at the fucking boat shaped friendship circle- or BSFC- as it's being referred to. **B**eautiful **S**erene **F**rolicking **C**hildren- As Tobi is calling it- is that what they're calling drugs these days? I want whatever he's on!

Anyway, moving on, the BSFC started with rum. And ended with rum. Hehe. Rum is a great way to bring people closer. Way closer. But not too close that it's sexual. That's what tequila is for. Tequila or Vodka. Whichever works. I don't think I need to say anymore about BSFC… use your imagination. No, Tami. Not _your_ imagination!

Let's get back to this story shall we?

The whole pack- Maddy, Mira, Katie, and I- were all sitting cross-legged facing the wall. Maddy heaved a sigh, "How much longer does this have to drag on?"

"I don't know and I'm not turning around to find out." Mira stated.

Katie and I nodded.

Explanation time everyone! Ok, so 4 hours ago the male members of Akatsuki decided to play poker since I taught them how to play. But they added a stomach wrenching twist: **Strip Poker cue dramatic music** country fiddle plays **no! DRAMATIC MUSIC!! disc record screeches dramatic music**  
Why are people so fucking useless?! God! I just lost my place. Ok… found it. Strip Poker. 4 hours. We were about to start our own game of Russian Roulette to end this nightmare when…

"I have to pee," I said.

There was a gasp, "How… you can't leave without getting mentally scarred for life!" Maddy said.

"I don't know, but I don't think I can hold it for much longer…"

There was silence then Katie spoke up, "Just go then."

Oh. You haven't met Katie. Katie Fossum. A close friend of mine since 7th grade when she inexplicably joined the pack and next to riding horses, she likes to be violet… like tackling and accidental deaths and such…

And you didn't meet much about Maddy. Maddy… I can't remember her last name… it'll come to me later though… anyway, Maddy is your average punk. Skinny black jeans, black and white striped short sleeved shirt, fishnet sleeves, converse, bleached white hair with a black two toned. She's extremely happy a lot and makes random noises that scare people sometimes. She's also the tallest, but smaller than Cameron. Tall for an 8th grade girl that is.

Moving on. I looked at Katie, "How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"Get. Up. And. Go."

I sighed, "Easier said than done."

"Here," She said throwing her hat at me.

"Oh I see!" I placed to hat on just right that I couldn't look left or right. Just down.

She nodded, "Now go pee."

I jumped to my feet and started to the door, and it worked! I made it down the stairs, but walked into a table, bruising my side.

"HEY! IT WORKED!!" I yelled from the guest bathroom.

I heard cheering.

"Hey! I'm home!" I turned and saw Cameron walking in through the front door.

"Oh. Fuck." I panicked. If he went upstairs and saw semi-naked ninja in my bedroom, along with everyone else, what would he think…? Actually… what would anyone suspect?

"We're all in here!" I lied.

He walked in with his green army uniform on , placing his car keys down on the counter, he did a double take at me, "No. It's just you… were's Mira, Maddy, and Katie?"

"Not upstairs?" I shrugged.

"Right ok. Downstairs?"

I shrugged again.

"I'm gonna go check."

"K."

When he left, I darted upstairs crashing through the door, "Cameron's home early!"

"Shit!" Maddy cursed.

"At 6? Doesn't he get home at like 1 in the morning?" Katie asked.

"Usually," I answered.

"Well, is he coming up?" Maddy went to turn around, but I made a random piping noise and she froze, "Right… Sorry…"

I turned to the Akatsuki, the hat covering my eyes, "I can't tell, and I'm not going to check, but whoever is undressed, needs to like, get dressed like now!"

"But the games not over…" I heard one say.

"Oh fucking well!" I snapped.

"You swear too much…" I recognized Hidan's voice.

"Oh, and you don't?" Sasori said.

There was silence. I threw my hands up, "Just get dressed!!"

"Alright. Alright. Just don't hurt us!"

"Oh trust me, if Cameron finds you, _I _won't be the one doing the hurting…" I said.

"Skye, I didn't find them!" Cameron called.

"Crap. Quick, get into the attic!" I ran to my closet and pulled a switch and a stair case fell from the ceiling, "Get up there!"

I heard shuffling footsteps as they climbed the stairs up. I then pulled the switch and closed it. I heard Cameron coming up the stairs.

"Wait! I still need to get up!" I looked up to see Tobi standing at the base where the staircase was.

"Dammit Tobi!"

"Skye? Who are you talking to?" Cameron said.

"We'll stall him," Mira said, now finding it safe to stand up and stretch out.

I nodded, "Alright. Tobi, find a place to hide."

"Like where!!"

Cameron was getting closer. I peered into the bathroom and saw the tub still full of bubbley water. I wrinkled my brow.

Cameron walked into the room, seeing Maddy, Katie and Mira he was relieved, "Ok. Now where is _Skye_?"

"I'm in here!" I called from the bathroom. I had quickly changed into my bathing suit and submerged everything except my head into the soapy water. I had my legs sticking out the other end of the tub, but the thing was, they weren't my legs…

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Oh you know, just taking a bath!"

"Well, ok then," He glanced at me, "Don't forget to shave… it seems like you haven't shaved in years…"

"You know me! My hair grows like weeds!"

"Riiiiight…" He gave me that 'awkward' stare before turning on his heels and heading downstairs.

I sighed and shifted my weight. Tobi came up gasping for breath. He jumped out of the tub, covered in soapy water and I slid out after him.

"Here, take these to wear until your clothes dry," Mira said taking some of Cameron's clothes out of the hamper.

He took them then I left to let him change.

"Oh. My. God." Was all I could say after I wrapped a towel around myself.

"That was quick thinking there," Mira said.

I nodded.

"Where'd you think of that…?" Maddy asked.

"Oh, I watched that Aquamarine movie last night… it was really weird, but will girly movies like that, you pick up a few things," I answered.

"So you learn to drown people in the bathtub?"

"Hey! He did not _die_ if you recall!" I snapped.

"Yeah. True." She answered.

Tobi came out wearing Cameron, 'Pearl Harbor, Hawaii' T-shirt and his black sweatpants.

"Now don't you look spiffy!" Mira clapped her hands, "And they actually fit!"

"I still don't get why I jumped into the tub with you… I could have just hidden in the closet…" Tobi sighed, examining the clothes in my mirror.

"Well, why didn't you say something?!" I asked.

"I thought you'd just come up with it on your own," He said.

I shook my head, "Well, the tub was the only thing that hit me at the time."

Tobi sighed, "You owe me a nickel."

"WHAT?! I DO NOT! IT WAS MINE!!"

"But I found it first!" He whined.

"But it was my room!" I argued.

"But finder's keepers!"

"I got to it first, so there! No more discussion!"

"I hate you." He crossed his arms like a stubborn 4 year old.

I sighed, "Yeah like I haven't gotten that before…"

"I also hate you for putting me in the tub."

"Well, then what did we learn?" I asked in a 1st Grade teacher voice.

"Move faster next time?" He guessed

"WRONG!! DON'T PLAY STRIP POKER IN MY HOUSE!!"


	5. I Am He As You Are He As You Are Me

I rushed through my back door and threw my pink and grey backpack on the couch, "SCHOOL'S OUT FOREVER!!" I air guitared the Alice Cooper song.

Katie sighed, walking through the door, her backpack slung across her chest, "Skye, it's only a 3 day weekend."

"Yeah, but it's on extra day where we don't have to put up with teachers!" Maddy chorused.

"Don't be a party pooper, Katie." Mira said, coming into the house last.

"I drew a picture during class today," I said, sounding cavalier. I pulled out my spiral drawing notebook, "I think it looks like Mr. D…." I flashed them the picture.

"But your drawing has hair…" Katie said.

"So…! It's super D!"

"More like Queero the Sooperhero…" Maddy said.

There was an awkward silence then the four of them burst into laughter.

"Whatcha laughing at?" Tobi said coming out from around the corner.

"How the fuck did you get out of the attic?" I snapped.

"The door."

"Oh. That would make sense." I cocked my head.

He nodded.

"OMG!!" Maddy outburst, making everyone jump, "Cameron left for a business trip to Germany today!!"

"So that means…!" Mira began.

"3 DAYS WITH NO SUPERVISION!!" The four girls screamed.

"I don't think so." The freaky guy with the piercings came out down the stairs.

"Oh fuck, its Mr. AIDS Waiting to Happen." Maddy sighed.

For those of you who don't know, Maddy and I suck at remembering names, so each of us came up with nicknames for all 10 Akatsuki members. You'll learn them later.

"What do you mean 'I Don't Think So?'?" Mira placed her hands on her hips.

"Since you're all alone, I'm in charge." He replied.

"You're not the boss of us!" Katie spat.

"I am now."

She kicked him in the shin causing him to collapse in pain, "I'll beat you with a goddamn toaster you son of a bitch!"

He glared up at her, but she turned, swishing her ponytail and stalking off.

The remaining three girls being Mira, Maddy and I, looked down at him, shrugged and walked past him, heading upstairs.

Ok, I'm going to try and explain something to you, my beautiful readers, these four are not what you'd call 'Lenient.' Push them to their breaking point, and they don't just push back… they punch you through a fucking window. Alright. Now, with that out of the way, let's get back to the fic.

Upstairs, Maddy, Mira, Me, and Katie all threw their belongings on their designated bed. Normally all the girls have their own room, but there's one guest room in the house that is full of bunk-beds, used for like sleep-overs and such.

Maddy and I shared a bunk. Maddy on top, me on bottom. Then Katie and Mira. Mira on top, Katie on bottom. They also let Akatsuki stay there. Partners bunk with partners. Simple.

To their luck, everyone was up there. ((that was sarcasm people. Learn it. Love it. Embrace it.))

Mira and I walked side by side down the aisles of bunks to Deidara and Sasori's bunk.

"Art that lasts a short time is true art!"

"No. Art that lasts a lifetime is true art!"

"What's going on?" Mira asked as they approached.

"They're having their usual conversation about whose art is better." Itachi said without looking up from his book.

"Conversation? More like bitchy argument." Mira raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah well, what are you gonna do?" Itachi sighed.

"How about this." She went over and smacked both Deidara and Sasori's heads together, "STOP ARGUING DAMMIT!!"

They rubbed their heads and looked at her.

"God, Mira, you's a dick. I love it!" I laughed.

"Thank you," She rubbed her hands together.

"What the hell was that for?" Sasori asked.

"You were annoying us." I said.

"You interrupted us." He replied, standing face to face with me.

Now between you and me, Sasori isn't the tallest tree in the forest if you catch my drift.

"You argue with your boyfriend too much!"

"He's not my boyfriend!"

"Right. Sorry. Your 'partner'."

"This may take a while…" Mira whispered to herself, sitting down on the bed next to Deidara. She turned and in a happy, go-lucky voice said, "Hi! My name's Mira!"

"Deidara." He said and they shook hands.

Mira quickly pulled away, "OMG WHAT THE FUCK!! SOMETHING JUST FUCKING LICKED ME!!"

"Oh, sorry…." Deidara held up his hand to show her the mouth on his palm.

"Whoa. Hello." She stared, then shouted making him jump, "THAT IS AMAZING!!"

They both froze instantly when I slapped Sasori across the face.

"Ow!" He said, slapping her back.

"Hey!" I slapped him back again.

This went on for a while. Mira and Deidara were unsure at first, but after a while they watched the bitch-slapping go back and forth like spectators watching a tennis match.

"How long do you plan to keep slapping each other?" Mira finally said.

"For" smack "A year" smack "and a half" smack "and a day." smack I said.

"Sasori?" Deidara asked.

"Whatever" smack "She" smack "says." smack he replied.

This didn't continue for a year and a half and a day, unfortunately. I finished with one hard smack that made his puppet head spin 360 degrees, then stormed off. Sasori quickly grabbed my ankle and pulled, sending me crashing to the floor, my brown hair sprawled around me.

I grunted and rolled onto my back. Hidan, Kisame, and Pein leaned over the edge of their bunks to see what was going on.

"Alright! Cat fight!" Hidan cheered.

"That's girl on girl, dipshit! Oh wait, this is girl on girl," I sneered at Sasori. He lunged at me and we went crashing back to the floor.

**Ph3ar the epicness of this scene**

This fight is kinda like something you'd see in a cartoon with the large dust cloud with arms and legs flying and the weird punching and groaning noises.

"What kind of fight is this?" Pein sighed, "You're both so _weak_."

**Record screeches to a stop **Both Sasori and I froze mid-punch, he had his hand wrapped around my neck, I had my knee in his face his fist was aimed at my temple, mine at his scorpion heart thinymabobber. We both forcefully turned our heads to look at Pein.

"Excuse me?!" We both shrieked.

Pein jumped.

We untangled ourselves.

Sasori's puppet came up behind Pein and knocked him to the floor. I cracked my knuckles and scowled. Sasori and I looked at each other, nodded, shook hands and closed in on Pein.

**How will this end? Will Pein come out alive? What are Maddy's Akatsuki nicknames? All this and more on the next episode of Pokemon- oh! I mean When Hell Froze Over! Sorry.**


	6. No Snooze Button On This

I cracked my knuckles one last time before placing me head down on my pillow.

"Is Pein okay?" Maddy asked.

"I won't know until he comes back from the hospital." I said casually, picking up a magazine and flipping through the pages.

"Way. To. Go. Smart one. Where's Mira?"

"Being social."

"Alright. Where's Sasori?"

"Jesus Christ! How many questions must you bombard me with?!" I threw the magazine down.

She flinched and yelped, "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow."

I stared at her, "What are you doing?"

"Oh! Just getting prepared for when you hit me."

"I wasn't going to… oh never mind," I shook my head.

"Please sleep!" Katie begged, facing away from them.

For some reason we got back at 3 and we entered our room and it was 9:30… so there was apparently some time change that I wasn't aware of. Oh well…. I don't question the logic anymore.

"Fine." I turned, clapped my hands and the lights went out.

"How the fuck did you do that?!" I heard Hidan say.

"Clapper lights. The lights of the _future_!" Maddy emphasized.

"That's fucking insane!" He clapped and the lights came on. He clapped again and they went off. Clap on. Clap off. Clap on. Clap off. Clap on.

"OH MY GOD!! STOP!!" I screamed.

"Oh my _Jashin_," He corrected me.

"What the hell? No. Oh my GOD!"

"Jashin!"

"God!"

"Jashin!"

"Jesus!"

"You can't change!"

"In my religion you can!"

"That sacrilege!"

"What the fuck does that mean?!"

"Jashin!"

"Jesus!"

"Jashin!"

"Jesus!"

"Buddha!" Maddy jumped in.

We stopped and stared.

"Please sleep!" Everyone else begged.

"Fine." I clapped and the lights went out.

**The Next Day**

Maddy awoke with a yawn. She swung her legs over the side of her bed and stood stretching, "Time to get up! No time to waste, the weekend has begun!"

No one stirred.

"C'mon! GET UP!!"

No one moved.

"FAGS!!"

Maddy pouted and searched the room, she saw Deidara molding clay against the back wall.

She skipped over to him, "Thank God! You're up too."

He nodded.

"Hey, I need your help…"

He looked up at her, "With what?"

"I need you to help me wake everyone up!"

"Okay!"

Maddy grabbed his wrist and dragged him over to my bed.

"How are we supposed to wake her up?" He asked.

"I don't know… poke her…"

Deidara shrugged and poked me, but the tongue in the mouth on his hand stuck out and licked my arm. A shudder ruptured through my body and I screamed a blood curdling scream. I jumped up with Goosebumps all over my body.

The scream of mine had obviously set off a domino effect. Mira jumped with a squeal, hitting her head on the ceiling, Katie jumping up, missing the bed on the way back down. She crashed to the floor causing the vibrations to rattle the bed frames of all the Akatsuki. They groaned and woke up, too.

"Wow… this worked better than I expected!" Maddy said in awe as she watched the chaos unfold, "Good job Dei!"

"Thanks… I think, hm."

"Maddy, what the _fuck_?!" I snapped.

"You're up! Yayz!"

"No! Not yayz!"

"Not yayz?"

I shook my head.

"Jesus, Maddy." Katie rubbed her lower back from the fall.

"Jashin!" Hidan snapped.

"Shut it!" Katie barked.

Maddy and Deidara backed up against a wall as Mira, Katie, and I closed in on them in wolf form. I pulled my lips back across my teeth.

Being wolves, we can communicate through thought. It's pretty sweet too.

_I am sooo not in the mood to tear you to shreds, but if I have to I will. _I snarled.

"Let's not tear Maddy to shreds…" Maddy begged.

OH I REMEMBERED MADDY'S LAST NAME!! MIDDLEBROOK!! MADDY MIDDLEBROOK!! Schveet.

_Well, Maddy, I guess we could let you off…_ Mira yawned.

_Yeah, I'm too lazy to bother right now. _Kate agreed, _I might even be too lazy to Change back._

I gave a wolfish shrug. I sat back on my haunches and rubbed my snout with my paw, _Looks like you're off the hook, Maddy._

She gave a sigh of relief. Deidara turned to her, "Are they gonna let us live, hm?!"

Maddy nodded. He sighed in relief.

I trotted out of the room, Katie and Mira at my tail.

It was 12:36 pm. More twisted time logic. Ugh. I hate time. Whoever invented time sucks.

Mira walked through the front door with Konan following her.

"I'm back from CVS!" She called.

"When the hell did you _leave_?" I asked.

"When you weren't looking." Mira said casually, placing her bags down on the table.

"Whatcha get?!" Maddy jumped up and down.

"Stuff."

Maddy paused, "Can you be any vaguer?"

"I can and I will."

"Try." Maddy challenged.

"Uh… dammit."

Maddy laughed, "So whatcha get?"

"Make-up materials."

"For what?" Katie asked.

Mira laughed evily.

**What are the mystical magical make-up materials for? Will Pein every return from the hospital? Will Maddy get ripped to shreds? Well, I wouldn't know… I'd wait until the next chapter, DUH!**


	7. Bombs to Salons to Meat Poking

"No. No. Nope. No. No. Natta. Uh-uh. Nope. You're crazy." I chanted throwing my arms around as I walked down the hall.

Let me explain; it all started when Mira got home. Remember the make-up materials? Well it turns out she wasn't going to turn them into a bomb like is suspected… she was having a make-over party thing… boy, was my guestimation off or what?! Anyway… She, Konan, and Deidara were going to get all dressed up and par-tay or whatever the fuck she said, but she wanted the three of us to do it too… but since none of us are into that kind of stuff, we were searching for a replacement, all to the disappointment of Mira who followed us like a lost puppy all around the house… which leaves off where we started in the first sentence of this story.

I'll repeat it for the folks with short term memory: "No. No. Nope. No. No. Natta. Uh-uh. Nope. You're crazy." I chanted throwing my arms around as I walked down the hall.

"Please?!" Mira begged.

"Uh… no."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Good enough for me. But who am I going to use then?!"

I spotted Itachi sitting in a lounge chair on the patio, reading.

"Itachi!" I smiled.

He looked up, "Huh?"

"You can use Itachi!"

"What?"

"Okay!" Mira clapped her hands.

I sighed in relief.

"But I don't want to…" Itachi began.

I shot him a look and he stopped, "You will…"

He nodded obediently.

"Good boy." I said before skipping off.

I entered the kitchen and wiped my brow in a dramatic fashion.

"Who's the unlucky sucker you dumped her on?" Katie asked, looking up from the counter.

"Itachi."

She chuckled, "Nice."

I nodded.

Maddy fluttered into the kitchen holding some Big Y grocery bags. She pulled out about 16 packages of different meat products.

"What's all that for? Are we throwing a party?" Katie and I asked.

"No… keep guessing!" Maddy grinned.

"I hate guessing games." Katie mumbled.

"You're going to make meat bombs?!" I jumped.

"How the fuck does you do that?" Maddy stopped.

"I can show you how, un!" Deidara said coming into the room. We all paused for about 7 minutes of silence before all bursting into laughter.

"What?!" He snapped.

"You're hair!!" We all screamed before doubling over in more sets of laughter. We all howled with humor at the pink curlers wrapped in his hair.

"What?!" He snapped again, "Mira said I need to wait about 20 minutes before I can take them out, un…"

More sets of laughter.

After 24.5 minutes of laughter, we were able to calm ourselves.

"Ok…" I said breathing, turning back to Maddy, "What is all the meat seriously for?"

"Poking!" She claimed proudly.

Katie, Deidara, and I stared, "Poking?" We asked in unison.

"Mhm!"

The three of us instantly rushed to poke the packages of meat.

"Holy shit!" I laughed, "This is really fun!"

"Didn't I tell you?" Maddy placed her hands on her hips.

"DEI!! GET BACK IN HERE!!" Mira called, startling them all.

"I'd better go…" he said.

"You should…" We agreed.

He nodded and walked out the double doors.

"I want to see what she's doing to Itachi..." Katie said smugly, following Deidara out the door.

"Me too." I said, Maddy following suit.

Outside we froze.

Konan was letting her new shiny pearl colored nails dry. Mira was taking the curlers out of Deidara's hair, and Itachi was… sitting cross legged under a hair dryer.

"What happened to the living room?!" Maddy cried.

"You like?" Mira said, showing off her new surroundings.

We were speechless.

The doorbell rung and I went to answer. Pein stood on the other side.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"Let me in."

I gasped in fake surprise, "No. My mother told me never to talk to strangers." He was about to retort but I slammed the door in his face and walked away.

"Who was that?" Katie asked.

I paused, "…Salesperson."

"Ah."

**Sorry, this was a short chapter… but… who really cares… you better no care too much! **


	8. Parental Detonation

Alright… to be honest, I almost died today.

Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start.

((did you enjoy my little Sound of Music plug-in?))

Alright well, anyway, you all remember how slammed the door in Pein's face in the last chapter? It… well he…. Came back to haunt me. Apparently, Maddy let him in when she was high from poking meat.

He stalked up to me, "I'm going to get you!"

"That's what Sasori said, and look what happened! We sent you to the hospital." I said, not looking away from the TV.

"I'm not a push-over like Sasori," He growled.

"O…k… So whatcha gonna do?" I challenged.

"I called someone who will have you locked up for years!" He grinned.

I looked up, "Animal control?"

He shook his head.

"Police?"

He shook his head again.

"I really do hate guessing games."

Pein pulled out a cell phone belonging to Cameron and showed me his recent dials.

I almost screamed, "YOU CALLED MY _MOTHER_!!"

He laughed at my reaction.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!" I spazzed.

Katie came running into the room, "Skye, what's wrong?!"

"HE CALLED MY MOM!!"

Katie's face lost its color, "Dammit! Does that mean she's coming _here? Now?"_

Pein chuckled, "It does."

Katie and I screamed together.

Mira came into the room, "What's with all the yelling? You're going to rile up the entire county."

I ran and grabbed Mira's shoulders, "Pein. Called. Mom."

Mira shrieked, "He didn't! Please tell me he didn't!"

"I did!" He declared.

We turned our sharp glare on him.

"Holy shit! Mira and Skye's mom is coming? We gotta get out of _here_!" Maddy exclaimed coming down the stairs.

"She can't be that bad, un." Deidara said, following suit.

"You. Have. No. Idea." Mira and Skye answered together.

"What's she like?" Itachi asked coming around the corner.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Maddy laughed.

"Huh? Oh, the hair?"

We all nodded. It looked so shiny, but… it also had neon blue lowlights…

"I looks nice." Katie said.

"Thank you." He said, "Now… your mother?"

"Oh right. She's like a super strict mom," Mira answered.

"How so?"

"She wants us to be… lady-like!" There were numerous gasps.

Mira nodded, "It's true. Like with the freaky poofy dresses and tights and ballet and opera and cocktail parties and fancy dinners and designer clothings and…" She gasped for breath.

I calmed her, "Alright. I think they get it."

Let me say a few words about my mother. She's a kill-joy with no life. She divorced our real dad when I was 6 and Mira was 7… that dad who gave us the wolf gene… She's currently with husband number 5… Hank, who feels he needs to win her over by taking her on tours over Europe which is how we got dumped on Cameron's doorstep! She's currently swooning with Hank in Madrid doing God knows what. Let's just not think about that, shall we? My mother believes in women morals like 'manners' and 'etiquette'. To be honest it's really annoying. She believes all women are supposed to be lady-like… so being us, she rags on us about out day to day doings all the time.

"You could do what I did about my mom." Itachi said.

"Hahahahahahahahahaha… no. I'd like to keep my mother breathing if you don't mind," I flashed him a fake grin.

We all inhaled sharply when the phone in Pein's hand began ringing.

He answered hesitantly, "Hello?"

He handed out the phone, "She wants to talk to her daughters."

I got the phone first, "H-hello? Mom?"

"Skyanne, darling! Is Mirabelle there?" I heard my mother's semi-high pitched voice on the other line.

"Uh, yeah, hold on a sec," I put the phone on speaker.

"M-mom?" Mira said.

"Mirabelle? Is that you?"

"It is."

"Good. I have both my girls here. Now what's this I hear about you locking your babysitter out? Skyanne, answer me!"

There was laughing from the group of Akatsuki that gathered around us, "Skyanne?"

"Shut it!" I snapped, blushing.

"Skyanne?"

"Sorry, uh, technically, he's not our baby-sitter."

"What do you mean, 'not your baby-sitter'? Are you letting boys into that house?! Skyanne Jane Mooreland, answer me!

More laughter.

"And what about you, Mirabelle?" Our mother snapped.

Mira was silent, contemplating an answer.

"Mirabelle Mary Mooreland answer me young lady!"

The Akatsuki erupted into more laughter. I had to hold the phone tightly to my body so my mother wouldn't hear.

"Has Cameron left on his trip yet?"

"Yeah."

"Let me talk to the baby-sitter he left in charge."

We all froze, "We need a baby sitter!" I mouthed.

Sasori stepped forward, "I guess."

I sighed in relief, "Thank you!"

I handed him the phone.

"Hello?" He answered calmly, "… Yes I have everything under control… I'm sure… you have nothing to worry about… alright… yes….yes… Of course… See you soon Mrs. Mooreland." He closed the phone and turned to us. We looked at him with anticipated eyes.

"She believed it."

We hugged each other and cheered. Mira and I threw our arms around his neck.

"No! Get off!"

"Kill-joy much?" Mira snapped.

"Not really. She'll be here in three days."

She paused mid celebrations, "Repeat that…"

"Here. Three days." He said slowly.

"Shit!" All four of us shouted.

Tobi poked Mira, "Your initials are MMM."

She whirled around and grabbed his finger; we heard a poping sound and Tobi shrieked, "Yes!" She hissed, "I know!"

**Oh crap. My mother is coming. When she sees all these people, especially guys, in my house she's going to be like a bat outta hell! OMG. Stay tuned to see how the Titanic sinks.**


	9. Pink Plaid Bows Stocking Get Me Out!

**If you own a Prius and are proud of it… don't flag me…**

**Warning: Prius Dissing.**

There it was. _That_ car. That evil vile _pink_ Prius.… dude, you wouldn't believe how relieved I would be if it really was a black Sudan with hired assassins to kill me… right here. Right now. _Before_ my mother walked through that door.

I wonder how Hank lives with the humiliation of being seen in a pink car… and to add onto that embarrassment… a Prius! A fucking Prius for god's sake!! If that car doesn't scream 'Gay' in your face… something is definitely wrong…

Mira and I hung back while Sasori waited at the kitchen table. Since he was our 'baby-sitter' it was his job to make sure our mother didn't see any other Akatsuki members. Thank God I didn't have to do anything this time… meaning: I don't have to leap into the bath tub again.

We held our breath as the door lock clicked and our mother came rushing in. Sasori looked up, Mira and I ducked down. She was wearing her knee-length pink wool dress. Her blonde curls bouncing at her shoulders and her 4 inch pink heels clapping on the floor with each step.

"Skyanne! Mirabelle! Mommy's home!"

We hid our face in shame.

We heard cackles of laughter from upstairs.

Sasori stood, "Mrs. Mooreland, my name is-"

She shoved past him, "Yes. Yes. Where are they? Are they here? Do they still have their virginity? Skyanne! Mirabelle! Come out here!"

We flushed a lobster red and jumped up from behind the island in the center of the kitchen. We gave her our 'perfect daughter' smiles, "Here, mother!"

"There you two are!" She rushed to embrace us into a hug. We rolled our eyes when we knew she couldn't see our faces.

She pulled us back and examined us, "You seem well."

"We're fine!" I answered.

"But your clothing! Ugh! Ew! What is that?" She tugged at my pant leg.

"Skinny jeans?" I asked.

"Ugh! And this!" She tugged at Mira's wrist.

"A Livestrong?"

"Unacceptable. Change into something fashionable."

"Do we have to?" We whined in unison.

"I will not have my girls going around town dressed as trash!"

"But-"

"No buts. Change. Now!" She pointed for the staircase.

We jumped and dragged our feet to the stairs. We felt her come up behind us and poke us in the lower back, "Posture, girls."

We straitened and walked like penguins to the stairs. We tried as hard as we could to keep our backs straight as we climbed the staircase, but failed. So we took off at full speed, hoping she wouldn't notice. We slammed the door behind us.

"Oh my god. If I don't die while mom's here, remind me to kill Pein later!" Mira shook with anger.

I nodded, "Will do."

Moments later we returned, pulling at our skirts and playing with our shoes.

"Don't you look fabulous!" Our mother swooned.

We looked at ourselves in the mirror, hearing Sasori snicker. We grimaced. We were dressed alike with grey plaid skirts that reached out knees and droopy white blouses. Our shoes were like nurses shoes with knee high stockings with black bows.

"I feel like a harlequin girl…" Skye sighed.

Mira nodded, then paused mid-nod, "Did you just use the word harlequin?"

I blinked, "Omg… these clothes give me super powers! The power to use big words!!"

"That's usually my job!"

"Do you think these clothes make _you _stupid and _me_ smart?"

She gave me a look, "I highly doubt that."

"How so?"

"I read the dictionary… you read billboards… I take French… you take detention…"

"Any more comparison's you'd like to make?"

"Uh… yeah… I get straight A's you get straight Z's."

"Oh, that's clever."

"Thank you."

"Girls, girls," My mother intervened, "You two look great!"

We turned with a miserable expression on our faces.

"What's with the look? That's the latest style in Angola!"

"No one even knows where that is, mother!" Mira snapped.

"Sure they do!" She threw her hands at us.

"I don't…" I raised a finger.

They both stared at me then gave me an 'oookaaay…' stare, "Of course you don't you're Skye."

I hung my head, "I guess…"

"Why don't you wear the clothes I get for you girls?" My mother suddenly said.

"Because they're inhumane," I rolled on the words.

"Oh pish posh!"

"It's true… you could get hazed for wearing this crap to school!" Mira's voice rose.

"Crap? It's not crap! It's fashion!"

"For who? Squirrels?"

"No! Girls your age would kill to get clothes like that on!"

"I'd kill to get clothes like these _off_," Skye mumbled.

Mira nodded.

Sasori, who had just been standing there, decided our torment was enough, "Mrs. Mooreland…?"

She turned, "Yes, of course! The baby-sitter."

"My name is Sasori of the Red Sand."

"Interesting…name…"

He nodded.

"So… exactly what is your sitting specialty?" My mother asked skeptically.

"Entertainment, mainly."

"How so?"

"Puppets."

"Ah. I see. And, uh, how old are you?"

"At least 35…"

She looked him over, he didn't look a day over 16, "Are you sure?"

He nodded, "Couldn't be more positive."

Mira and I bit our tongue in anticipation.

"So… am I interrupting something?" Sasori asked, "Because it's about 3 which usually means… uh… baby-sitter… uh, bonding time?"

Mira and I blinked, what the hell was he talking about?

I strolled over and placed my elbow on his shoulder, "Uh, yeah! Just like always!"

"What do we do?" He hissed at me through his teeth.

"You. Me. There. Now. Ice Cream." I hissed back.

"How about ice cream?" He declared.

Mira caught on, "Alright! Ice cream!"

"Do you want to take my car?" My mother asked.

"NO!" all three of us whirled around and ran to the door.

"Wait!" Mira called once we were out by the car, "I am not going out in public dressed like this!"

"Up here!" We looked up to see Maddy and Katie hanging out a window with a black garbage back. They tossed the garbage back down at us. We caught it with ease and peered inside, inside were sweatpants and a sweatshirt for each of us.

"You are lifesavers!!" I called.

"What flavor lifesaver??" Maddy called back, receiving a slap on the back of the head from Katie.

We pulled on the grey sweatpants with big bold pink letters running up the leg saying, 'NIGHTHAWKS' then the big blue sweatshirt with big gold letters reading 'Newtown Nighthawks'. We jumped in the car.

"Sasori, can you drive?"

"No…"

"Left pedal break, right pedal gas… GO!" I screamed.

We veered out of the driveway, smashing the mailbox. I showed him how to shift with the gears and we were off.

**NIGHTHAWKS RULE!! Oh, sorry… how will this end? Will Sasori's driving improve? What flavor ice cream will they get? All this and more!! **

**Tami: IT'S TIME TO DUEL!!**

**Me: No… let's just end the chapter…**

**Tami: Fine!**


	10. UnNarnia

**Warning. This chapter has its serious moments… but that's only at like one point.**

Alright, so a few weeks have passed and our mother left… ZOMG SHE'S GONE!! Alright, spaz over. Anyhoo, so our mother's gone, Cameron has returned and as we speak we are currently sitting in the living room doing nothing.

Until…

"Cameron! Skye! Mira! Katie! Assemble!!" Maddy called from the other room.

"What is it?" Cameron yelled back in his 'not really caring because this is Maddy we're talking about' voice.

"I found the door to Narnia!!" Maddy shrieked.

"Narnia?" Katie and I were instantly off our feet and gone.

"I want to see!" Mira chimed and soon she was gone too.

Cameron sighed then put down his book and stood, walking slowly into the guest room.

"Look." Maddy said looking up while the rest of us were crowded around a closet door.

"I really don't think you've found the door to—" He froze staring into the closet. There was a breeze coming from it, teasing our hair and there were leaves scattered about our feet, "You've got to be shitting me!"

"We have to go in!"

"No let's—" But it was too late. Maddy instantly bolted into the closet and was gone, followed by Katie, Mira, and I.

"Let me finish a goddamn sentence for once!" He hissed into the darkness of a closet. He could hear our screams of delight as it seemed like a bunch of light flew past us. It was like riding a water slide of air through space. We caught glimpses of a mountain with 5 carved faces in it. There were buildings scattered about with a forest surround it. Cameron sighed and chased after us.

The amazement lasted about seven seconds before Maddy hit something hard. Katie landed on top of her. Mira landed on top of Katie. And I landed on top of Mira. We were just about to stand when Cameron flew out of wherever we were and crushed us back down into a moshed pile. We all groaned.

"Get…. Off….I….can't…..breathe!...!!" Maddy gasped from the bottom of the pile.

"It's what you get for being rational."

"I… don't….know…what….that….means!...!!"

"Oh well, then… I guess you do now." He retorted.

"Mhm!" there was a stern cough from the room.

We all jumped up and slithered behind Cameron in fear. We looked up to see a tall lady with two pig-tails with her arms.

"Whoa! Look at her boobs!" Maddy hissed to me, "What size do you think?"

"Z Cup?" I chuckled.

She spat laughter.

"I don't see what's so funny!" She snapped.

We jumped at her booming voice. Cameron put out a protective arm and let out a menacing growl.

Her eyes flickered to his impassive face, "Who are you?"

"We aren't eligible to answer that." He responded, just as serious.

"Excuse me? Answer your Hokage!"

"Hokage?" Mira whispered.

"I don't think we're in Narnia…" Maddy drawled.

I turned to her in disbelief, "No shit Sherlock!"

The pig-tailed lady turned to us, then back to Cameron, "What are you doing here?"

"I honestly don't know."

"How did you get here?"

He shrugged, "Through a closet."

There was a snicker from the other half of the room. The four of us ducked out from behind Cam to see. We saw four others standing in front of a large desk. One adult, four kids about our age. The adult had a freaky hairdo that was spiky grey. His face was hard to explain considering it was covered by a navy blue mask. The kids were just a freaky looking. The girl had pink hair and a pink dress. The boy who snickered was in a bright orange jumpsuit with bright blue eyes and spiky blonde hair. The last boy was concentrating on my face. He had dark onyx eyes and black hair. I raised an eyebrow, he resembled Itachi in so many ways it was scary.

There clothing were so different from ours it was kinda sad. I was in dark blue skinny jeans, yellow converse, a black tank top, and a black midriff sweater and short sapphire necklace. Maddy was in grey skinny jeans, black converse, a black and white striped shirts with fingerless gloves and a large Peace sign necklace dangling on her chest. Katie was in light blue bell bottom jeans with blue Nike 

sneakers and a grey sweatshirt. Mira was in regular blue jeans with green Puma sneakers and a red plaid short sleeve shirt with small diamond studs in her ears. Cameron had on tan khakis and a white short sleeved shirt.

Like I said… big….HUGE difference.

"I was being serious." The blonde lady snapped.

"So was I." Cameron replied calmly.

She growled, "Team 7. Apprehend them!"

They nodded and leaped through the air.

"Holy mackerel! They can use Speed?" I asked.

We didn't really try, we just sidestepped using our quick speed and 'Team 7' collided with the wall. We all chuckled and Team 7 groaned.

"That didn't work." The masked man said.

"You think, Kakashi-sensei?!" The blonde boy whined.

"Ow…" The pink haired girl rubbed her forehead.

"Sakura? Are you okay?" The boy asked concerned.

"Get away from me, Naruto!" She snapped, then gasped, turning to the dark-haired boy, "Sasuke! Are you okay?"

The blonde boy fumed and the dark haired boy ignored her. Her turned to me, "Who are you?"

I straightened, "Who wants to know?"

His eyes narrowed, "I do."

"Who's 'I'?" I felt myself grin wickedly inside.

"Sasuke Uchiha."

"HA!" I shrieked, "You _are_ his little brother!"

I must have missed something because the next thing I knew he was pinning me against the wall. Cameron snarled but I waved him off.

"What do you know about Itachi?"

"Not much… he likes to read the Newtown Bee and it costs me a fortune every Sunday. And he likes pineapple on pizza which honestly makes me nauseous and—"

He shook me, "That's not what I meant!"

"Well sorree!!"

"He also looks fabulous in low-lights…" Maddy raised a finger.

I pinched his wrist and he dropped me.

"Weird people," I said as I went to join Mira and the others.

"Well, where do you think Pein and the others came from," My sister answered.

"What?! The Akatsuki are from here!!" I yelled a little too loud.

"That explains so much…" Katie lingered on the thought.

Everyone turned to us.

"You know about the Akatsuki?" Kakashi asked us.

"Yeah they live with us!" Maddy grinned.

Mira, Katie and I threw our hands over her mouth and dragged her back, "Maddy!"

"They what?" Cameron fumed.

"Uh… surprise!?" Mira shrugged.

"I cannot believe this!" Cameron and the Hokage rubbed their temples.

"Oops… I think we did something wrong…"

"Oh you bet your tails you did! You had all those men living in our house while I was away?!"

"But Konan's a girl!" Maddy budged in.

"That's beyond the point!"

"So… are you gonna beat us with a belt?" Katie asked cautiously.

"No."

We sighed in relief.

"I'm going to beat you with a toaster!"

We huddled in a circle and screamed.

"Let's not kill them…" Kakashi placed at hand on Cameron's shoulder.

"Awwww…" Someone sighed from the other end of our portal.

"Shut up Kisame! Don't make me come up there!" I snapped.

There was a chuckled then a slamming door and the portal was gone.

"What the fuck! The portal's gone!!" Katie screamed.

Maddy dropped to her knees, "NO!! How do we get back then?!"

Cameron shook his head, "I don't know…"

"I don't want to be stuck here…" I cried.

He placed his hands on my shoulders, "Calm down, Skye."

"Skye? Is that your name?" The pink haired girl, Sakura, asked.

I nodded, "That's Maddy, that's Katie, that's my sister Mira, and my cousin Cameron."

"Weird names…" Naruto huffed.

"Who are you?"

"We just told you!"

"What are you then?"

"Werewolves!" Maddy cheered happily.

Cameron slapped her.

"Ow! What? It's true!"

Kakashi chuckled, Naruto burst into laughter, Sakura gave us a disbelieving look, Sasuke sighed.

"It is!" Katie and I snapped.

"Prove it."

The five of us grinned at each other, stood in a straight line, and Changed right in front of them.

My silky smooth black fur fell loosely over my body. I stomped my white paw and shook my body.

I looked down the line at Cameron's large chestnut body. He was at least 3 inchest taller at the shoulder than the rest of us. I look to Katies bulky grey body as she itched her ear. Maddy shook dust our of her white fur and Mira sat down politely on her jet black haunches.

I heard clanking metal and looked up alarmed. All the Konoha ninja had drawn weapons. The fur on my hackles rose and I growled. Cameron calmly stepped in front of me and gave them all a sharp look with his deep honey colored eyes.

We were about to turn and run when 5 cages fell out of nowhere and closed around us. We Changed back instantly and shook the bars.

"Let us out crazy bastards!!" Maddy raged, "We are not animals!!"

We paused to look at her.

"Okay… we're not _wild_ animal!!"

"Right. How am I supposed to just believe you." The Hokage asked.

"Uh… stranger's trust?"

"No."

"Sifyinatterceled," Maddy screamed.

"What the fuck does that mean?" I asked.

She shook the bars of her cage, "I. Don't. Know!"

**Will we find peace with Konoha? Will Maddy find the **_**correct**_** door to Narnia? Will we ever find a definition for sifyinatterceled? All this and more. Stay tuned!**


	11. Censoring Sucks beepbeepbeepbeep

**Yay chapter 10!!**

**Katie: it's chapter 11.**

**Wait… what? It's chapter 11?? Where the fuck was I?**

**Katie: sleeping in your dog's bed…**

**But… then… how did I miss… but I'm the author…. I'm confused!!**

**Katie: You're telling me.**

**Okay, since I obviously missed chapter 10, let's celebrate chapter 11!! confetti shaped like the #10 fall from sky oook… just kidding, nevermind.**

Okay, so being in cages isn't fun— for those who have would know— for others it's like forgetting your own fic's tenth chapter anniversary. Yeah, like I said… not fun. Anyway, since I fell asleep through chapter 10 and missed this fic's 10th anniversary… let's kick off the day with something random. We made up a decision to all the questions that have been asked since chapter one. Let's just go through this so we can get back to the story… ok? Get it. Got it. Good.

**Will Skye ever figure out why everyone can read her mind? **This question was asked in Chapter 3. The answer is: It was a technical difficulty. Crack— I mean coffee— spilled all over the keyboard.

**Will Pein come out alive? What are Maddy's Akatsuki nicknames? **These were asked in chapter 5. The answer is: Unfortunately Pein came out alive with a fractured brain so now he can't do math. And Maddy's Akatsuki nicknames— it's Maddy people!! Use your imagination!!

**Will Sasori's driving improve? What flavor ice cream will they get?** This was asked in chapter 9. And no. Sasori's driving did not improve. He drove over several yellow lines, four cats (which lived for feline lovers), two chickens, and a goat… (but they all lived). And we got chocolate and vanilla swirl ice cream from Stew Leonard's.

**Will we ever find a definition for sifyinatterceled?**__This was apparently asked in Chapter 10…**which I missed!!** But anyway, this is a very good question… and yes we did!! We finally decided that it means 'Omg you piece of crap, why the hell did this chicken cross the road? And why didn't a goat go instead.' Oh yes. We went there.

And now back to the story…

……………………….

**Me: whispers psssst! Where did we leave off?**

**Cameron: whispers back We were locked in cages.**

**Me: OH YEAH!!**

…………………………

**Cameron: Cages.**

**Me: Oh. Right.**

So, we were locked in cages for some time before some annoying little brunette kid with an abnormally long scarf and goggles on his forehead waltzed into the room. We sighed.

"I'm here to rescue you!" He exclaimed.

"Oh boy. I'm being rescued by a 1st grader," Katie rolled her eyes.

"But wait… we were only in these cages for like 15 minutes… how does this work?" Cameron asked.

"I don't question the logic anymore…" I said simply.

"It's probably because you had that monologue of answering questions…" Mira offered her suggestion.

Cameron and I shrugged.

"Do you want my help or not?" The boy asked again.

"Yes!" All 5 of us answered in unison.

"Okay, but you have to promise not to eat me."

"No guarantees," Maddy wagged a finger.

He stared at her.

"Okay fine. We promise."

"For real?"

She nodded. He looked to the rest of us and we nodded too.

"Okay." One by one he inserted a key into our locks and let us out. We stretched out our muscles, our joints cracking.

"Follow me." The boy said as he led us out the door.

"What the beep" Maddy paused, "Did I just get _censored_?!"

"I don't know… let me see," I said, "beep Yeah… you did…"

"What the beepbeepbeepbeep OH COME ON!!"

"Well, this is a children's show…" Cameron said.

"But they say beep and beep and beep in the Japanese version _and_ the manga!" Mira said, slightly confused.

Cam shrugged.

"No swearing? What is this world coming to?!" Maddy cried.

"I don't know anymore." I shook my head.

Maddy hung her head the rest of the walk.

"Go out that that door and you're free for now." The boy pointed to an open door.

"Dude, you're a freakin lifesaver!" I cried.

"Oh sure, you can say _freakin_ but you can't say beep"

"Oh leave it Maddy." Katie said.

"Yeah, imagine how Hidan would feel."

"You got a point."

We nodded and dragged her out the door. Cameron stopped in the doorway and we all walked into him, he turned back to face the kid, "Thanks, what's-your-name."

"Konohamaru."

"Riiight… Konohamaru."

He turned on his heels and Sped off. We followed.

**Another short chapter, well… sort of… it's kinda late and maybe something interesting will happen next chapter. Plus I just got my finger splint off and my finger hurts like a beep Holy beep it's doing it in the author's note's now too!! beep okay, seriously, whoever came up with censoring is a beep. Ahh beep this. I'm out.**


	12. Failing 1st Grade For The 3rd Time

**Alright. Now I'm positive this is chapter 12… if not… then I'm at a totally what the censor moment. Oh yeah… and we're still being censored… isn't this fun? Oh well… censor you!**

"This sucks!" Katie huffed as we ran down the street.

"Can we rest for a censored minute!" Maddy huffed.

Cameron slowed to a fast walk and Maddy fell to the floor in exhaustion.

Mira loomed over Maddy, "We've only been running for 2 minutes…"

"That _long_?" Maddy's head fell against the ground, "It seems like forever!!" She cursed, being censored each time mind you.

"AGH!! This censored reality is driving me up a censored wall! I want to censored go home!!"

Katie straddled Maddy and shook her shoulders, "Shut the censored up!"

Cameron tapped Katie on the shoulder and whispered, "I don't know if you realize this, but that position looks kinda awkward…"

"Oh… I knew that…" Katie rolled off of Maddy.

We nodded like 'suuuure you did…'

All our heads turned when we heard a shriek from the building we came from. We were easily far enough away to be safe, but our ears picked up everything.

"I think they noticed we left…" Katie droned in a monotone voice.

We sighed.

Suddenly a man wearing a green vest came up behind us, he was about Cameron's height with a scar across his nose, "Why aren't you kids in school?"

"Oh crap, it's the fuzz!!" Maddy squealed in fright and took off. Mira grabbed her collar at just the right moment that she plopped back down on the ground, "GOD censor YOU!!"

"It' what I'm here for. It's what I'm here for." Mira smirked.

Cameron stood up tall. Strike what I said about the man being Cameron's height, he was at least a head shorter. They glared at each other for several minutes.

"We're not enrolled in any school," Cam finally said.

"You're not? Well then, we must get you kids in."

Cameron pointed at himself, "Me too?"

"Of course not! You're too old for school."

"What? That lucky censor doesn't get to go to school? But we do?!" I snapped.

"Hey, I already graduated college."

"censor you!" Maddy screamed.

"You'll learn to speak when spoken to!" The man with the scar said.

"Oh crap! It's like… repeating the 7th grade!"

Cameron leaned in close and ushered us into a group gathering, "What I hear around this place… it's like repeating the 1st grade…."

"WTF?!" we cried in unison

He laughed once before pushing us after the scarred man.

We walked several steps behind him, clutching each other like lifelines; screaming every time he turned to say something.

"Will you let me talk?" He managed to say.

We screamed again.

He sighed and we continued walking in silence. When we arrived he shoved us through the doors of what children were calling the 'Academy.'

He shoved us into a nearby classroom and we stumbled in, bumping into one another and regrouping our huddle. Faces turned to stare at us and we recognized, Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto and some other faces that also recognized us.

"Oh _shaiza_!" I mouthed.

"SO WE CAN SWEAR IN GERMAN!!" Maddy shrieked happily.

Mira nodded, "Don't you love loopholes?"

"Loopholes kick d_achshund_!" Katie cheered.

"Loopholes kick _rat dog?_" I asked.

"Is that what _dachshund _means?" She asked incredulous.

I nodded, "Something like that."

"Ladies!" The scarred man said from the podium at the other end of the classroom, "Please come to the front of the class and introduce yourselves!"

"But—"

"NOW!!"

We jumped and hurried to the front. Shuffling out feet and avoiding eyes from the three we say earlier that day.

"You start." He tapped Maddy on the shoulder and she recoiled into Katie, "Jumpy…" The man said in a low voice that we easily picked up.

"I-I'm Maddy Middlebrook…"

"I'm Katie Fossum."

"I'm Mira Mooreland."

"And I'm Skye Mooreland."

"Sisters?" The scarred man asked.

We nodded.

"Twins?"

"God no!" Mira exasperated, "She's my little sister."

"By a year," I added in.

"And where do you all come from? You obviously all seem to know each other."

"A place very far away… over the rainbow!" Katie said.

"Oookay… and how did you get here?"

"Through a closet." We all answered.

There were snickers from various places in the room, one from a guy with a dog perched on his head.

"PUPPY!!" Maddy cooed once she caught sight of it.

The boy jumped, "Yeah. What's it to you?"

"Nothing. I just like dogs." Maddy answered coolly.

"Yeah well, this is as close as you're going to get to Akamaru."

"Is that his name?"

"Uh-well, yeah…"

Maddy used Speed and vanished, reappearing on top of his desk, "You're not the only one with magical powers, pup."

The boy looked at her wide-eyed.

"Maddy, let's not kill people today please?"

"Yeah. Dude, he's got a freakin dog!"

"Maddy. Heel. Come. Here girl!" Katie called.

We stared at her.

She shrugged, "What? It worked when we played fetch."

We considered this before taking our seats in the front row. We exchanged schedule and sighed, "We only have one class together and it's art!"

"Why does anime always do this crap?!"

"Because they like to see how we interact on our own before we converse in a facility where we meet up at the end of a long hectic day." Maddy said.

We stared at her.

"I read… once in a while."

"Uh- ok then."

"I want pie." She said.

"Don't we all…" Mira shook her head.

"I wonder what Cameron is doing…" I blurted out.

"Probably sleeping cause god knows we don't get enough of that in our lives."

"My doctor says that's unhealthy." I bit my nail.

"We go each day with a 110 degree temperature because of what we are… of course they think everything we do is unhealthy!" Katie snapped.

"I think somebody's tired!" I teased circling my finger in her face. She bit my finger tip.

"You bloody bit me!"

"Don't stick your finger in my face!"

BEHOLD A CENCORED AGUMENT!! DA DA DADA DA!!

**Who will win this bitch fight? Does anyone really care? Why don't you guys get a life and sleep? Get those hours back so your doctor doesn't say you're unhealthy for not sleeping a full 8 hours!! SLEEP INSTEAD OF READING!! JESUS PEOPLE!! REVIEW!!**


	13. 7 to 400 on a Monday Morning

**Alright. We're back on track with this 'Which chapter is it' thingy. This is chapter 13 and I know it!! **

Maddy's First Day

Maddy entered the classroom filled with kids of all ages… obviously they were all younger than she was.

"Awwwwcrap." She huffed taking a seat by a boy who seemed to be wearing underwear on his head and eating a bag of potato chips.

The boy seemed disturbed by her presence, anxiously glancing at her clothing and hair.

Maddy caught him staring, "What are you looking at?"

He almost choked, "Nothing."

Maddy nodded her 'that's what I thought' nod.

Moments later the teacher strolled in. He was a man with a goatee and had a cigarette in his mouth. Maddy sighed, "Sure, they censor me, but guys can smoke. What the [censored] is up with this [censored] place?"

With this people turned to stare at her.

"Oops… shutting up now…" She grimaced.

Skye's First Day

I took a seat down at a table that didn't have a lot of people at it. I placed my bag down on the ground at my feet. I looked around, was I in the right room? There was no teacher… was it a study hall? No that's not possible. My schedule said ninja tactics and skills.

A lot of the kids in the class talked with each other like there normally never was a teacher.

"Uh…" I began when there was a poof of smoke at the front of the class and everyone turned to attention. Standing at the front of the room was a man with a bandana covering his bald head. His face was covered in scars. On the board he wrote 'Ibiki Moreno'. And trust me, he was not friendly looking.

"Sit." He ordered making me jump even when I saw it coming.

People rushed to their seats.

"Today we're going to learn… blah blah blah ninja tactics blah blah blah homework blah blah blah no excuses blah blah blah…" ((shows how much I pay attention right?))

"You!" He pointed right at me and I thought I was going to puke from shock, "What is that sound?"

"What sound, sir?" I said coolly.

"The one coming from your bag."

What the hell? Everyone was staring at me, I looked down at my bag only to hear my cell phone ringing. [censored]!!!

"Oh uh that well… damn…"

I pulled it out of my bag. The 'If I Only Had A Brain' ringtone still playing louder than ever. I flip it open and put it on the table, hoping whoever it was would hang up before he could say something.

But just to my luck…

"Skye? Skye! Help me. I hate this [censored] place! It's driving me [censored] insane! I'm in the bathroom… can you meet me? Hello? Skye?"

Through clenched teeth I hiss, "Maddy, I'm in class…"

"What?" She said, her voice echoing in the classroom, "You broke a glass? You [censored] klutz!"

"No… I'm in class!" I hissed again.

"You need to go to Mass? I thought you were Wiccan!"

"Maddy. I'm. In. Class!"

"Oh! You're in _class_!" There was a long pause, "Well why didn't you [censored] tell me! People are probably staring at you and you're going to get in a lot of trouble for having your phone in school you [censored]."

I'm so going to kill her later.

"Well, I'll talk to you later then. Bye bye Skye!" Click. The line went dead.

Great first day, Skye. 5 minutes into class and already you have a reputation. I yelled at myself.

Katie's First Day

"AHHH!! DON'T HIT ME!!!" She screamed as people around her threw sharp spinning objects, "I hate P.E.!!"

"Relax kid, nothing is going to hurt you." The teacher explained, "Now since it's obvious your too dangerous to handle knives, give me 400 laps!"

"What?! You're crazier than you look!" Katie screamed at, you guessed it, Might Gai.

"Nope. Go! Let the power of youth explode!"

"Oh it'll explode alright; right all over your [censored] face!"

He ushered her toward the track, "400 laps."

Her jaw dropped. She began to run.

Lunch

"Mira? We didn't hear the monologue on your first day." I asked my sister when I spotted her at the lunch table.

"That's because I had study hall. Our teacher, Kakashi, never showed." She said, taking a bite out of her apple.

"Lucky duck." Maddy sighed sitting down at the table.

"Where's Katie?" I asked.

"Running 400 laps."

Maddy's jaw dropped.

"What lap is she on?"

"7."

We gaped.

"She hates running! She'll [censored] die!"

"We know." Mira said.

We all sighed and glanced out the window where we saw Katie running laps under the watchful eye of Gai. She looked ready to die.

"Maybe if she dies, we'll all go home and it'll all be a bad dream." Maddy offered.

"That we all shared? I doubt that." Mira sighed.

She banged her head against the table.

"What's your last class?" I asked.

"Art."

"Really?" Maddy said, her head shooting up, "Me too!"

I glanced at my schedule, "Same."

"Oh this is going to be… fun!"

***Evil Laughter* cliffhanger!! Buahahaha. No jk. But, yeah, I'm going to save art class for the next chapter. **


	14. What's The Point of Bleach in Anime?

**Y'all ready for this?! Bet you're not expecting what happens here!!**

"Skye! Skye, watch this! Skye! I'm over here you [censored]!!" Maddy hollered.

I turned my head to see Maddy waving to me from across the art room. Oh yes. Assigned seats. Lucky for me, I got to sit next to Katie. And Mira was stuck next to a lazy kid who slept all class and Maddy was next to a blonde prep.

I rolled my eyes as Maddy lifted up a scalpel like tool and carved words into her clay. She held the wad of brown clay up so I could read it.

'Hi' is all it said.

"Maddy, I swear I'll [censored] kill you."

Katie put her hand on my shoulder, "Let it go." She yawned. Wow. Running really took its toll. She laid her head down on the table and closed her eyes. There was a loud WHACK on the teacher's desk and everyone snapped to attention. We all looked up and our mouths dropped. It was the blonde lady with the large boobs from before.

We all gaped at each other and tried to hide our faces. Her eyes scanned the room while she spoke, "We have had five prisoners escape from our holding facilities and we have reason to believe they're posing as students here. They are fugitives. If you find them, capture them. Understand?"

"Yes. Lady Tsunade."

Oh shaiza!

Maddy sneezed.

Double shaiza.

"You there!" Tsunade pointed.

Maddy jumped.

"There they are!"

"Time to run!" I shouted. Katie groaned. The four of us lunged out the door using Speed.

**-I thought now would be a good idea to put in chase music. Play 'Song 2' By Plain White T's ((yes the song is called 'Song 2'))-**

The four of us ran like we had nothing better to do. But it seemed we had Naruto and Sasuke on our trail. We quickly changed into our wolf form. I felt the fire erupt inside me and I burst into a blob of fur and teeth. We split up into pairs. Mira and I ran and headed left while Katie and Maddy went right. Sasuke followed us and Naruto followed them.

_Just great! _Mira sighed as we dug our claws into the ground to move faster.

_What do we do?_ Katie wheezed.

_I don't know, but my senses tell me this hallway runs in a circle. Meet us where our hallways meet._

We all agreed and picked up the pace. We could suddenly smell each other much better, but before we could stop we collided in front of a closet. We phased back and scrambled into the closet.

"I can't see!"

"Skye what do you see?"

I gazed out the small window on the door and blinked, "I- I don't see anything…"

"We lost them." Maddy dropped.

"No. Guys, I really can't see anything!"

"Are you hurt? Are you blind?"

"No… outside it looks like we went through another portal…"

"What?!" They all breathed.

The worm hole they were all zooming through suddenly came to an abrupt halt and everything in the closet collided with them.

"Ow… I think a hanger just poked my eye out…" Maddy hissed.

"You guys need to back up… you're pinning me against the door!" I mumbled.

"Where are we?" Mira asked, pushing a ball off of her.

I peered through the window, "I don't know…"

"Well what do you see? Are we home?"

"Not unless home is full of scary people in white…"

"Oh shit! They brought us to the asylum again!" Maddy panicked.

We gaped at her.

"What?"

"You weren't censored!"

"Really? …fuck… OMG!!!" She shrieked.

The scary people in white turned this way.

Oh my God was they scary… They had like… bones on their faces and bodies…

"Guys… you might want to quiet down a—" I looked down at my feet, "Oh hell no!! I lost a shoe!!!!!!"

"Look who's quieting down now, Skye!"

The room outside was dead quiet now.

"You know what song I have stuck in my head?" Maddy said.

"No one cares Maddy…" Katie growled, "We have to figure out where we are."

"White Houses by Vanessa Carlton."

"Hey I love that song." I said.

"Crashed on the floor when I moved in. This little bungalow with some strange new friends. Stay up too late and I'm too thin. We promised each other it's till the end…" Maddy sang.

I felt the doorknob turn.

"Oh snap…"

"Now we're spinning empty bottles it's the five of us. With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust. I can't resist the day. No I can't resist the day."

"Maddy please. Spare us!"

The door swung open and I fell first, landing with a thud on the floor. Followed by the other 3. I winced, "Oh god, my neck. _That_ is going to hurt tomorrow…"

"If we live to see tomorrow…" Mira whispered, climbing off.

"How is it we always land in piles?" Maddy asked dusting herself off.

"I don't know, but Skye seems to end up on the bottom most of the time." Katie said.

"Don't remind me." I groaned, moving my neck in circles.

"Where did they come from? Are they humans?" We heard questions echoing throughout the dark room.

"Oh crap… it's like the Ring…" Maddy cowered.

"I saw that a few nights ago," I pointed out, "Scared the frickin crap out of me. I didn't get it though…"

"You didn't?" Maddy asked, concerned.

"No." I shook my head, "I didn't get why her mother killed her and why they treated her so bad."

"It's because she was a mistake." Maddy explained.

"Mhm." Someone coughed and we stopped our conversation.

"What shall we do with them, Master Aizen?"

"Oh crap! Not only are we not home, but we're in the wrong anime too!" Mira exclaimed.

"Which anime?"

"Bleach."

"That's so irrelevant." I said, "Another thing I don't get."

"What? Why it's called Bleach?"

"Exactly."

"Ugh, I'm sick of explaining things to you. You're a mistake just like the ghost girl from the Ring."

"NO!"

"Yes."

"I'm going to kill you through a video tape!!"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"I would! I'm going to crawl out of a well, and crawl through your TV and EAT YOUR SOUL!!"

Maddy tapped my shoulder, "Skye, she didn't eat souls…"

"No? Well she should have."

Another cough to get our attention.

"Oh right. The plot." Katie sighed.

"Who are you?" A thin guy asked.

"Mira? Names… please… You're better at this than I am…"

She groaned and whispered in my ear, "Ulquiorra."

I nodded.

_So do we like answer or just stand here like morons?_ Katie asked through thought

_I like the moron idea._ I agreed.

Maddy slapped her face, "Maybe if you would all shut- up for a damn second we could think of a way out of this!"

I wrinkled my brow, "Who are you talking to, Maddy?"

"You idiots of course!"

"Ignore her…" Mira said to everyone in the room, "She's crazy."

"I am not! How am I supposed to think if everyone is talking all at once!"

_Maddy we didn't actually say anything… we were talking through thought…_

Maddy blinked, "Oh… so… my outburst… everyone heard?"

We all nodded sympathetically.

"Fudgy rainbows!!!!!!" Maddy cursed.

Everyone was silent and I was the only one to start laughing. I laughed so hard I think I fell to my knees.

"Wow. Just. Wow." Mira sighed.

Katie looked at the weird people closing in on us, "Um… guys, would it be a good idea to say 'we're totally screwed right now'?"

I continued to laugh, "Shut up Kaite, can't you see I'm—" I erupted into another round of hysterics.

"Heads up!" Someone called.

My shoe, which I had lost earlier for those who don't remember too well, came falling out of the sky and hit Ulquiorra in the head before landing on the ground.

My laughing stopped and I covered my mouth in shock. It was Maddy this time who erupted into laughter. Her and another guy with ice blue hair and matching eyes.

_Grimmjow_, Mira informed me.

"Hey guys…" I whispered, "I found my shoe…"


	15. OMG LOOK OUT Hey a butterfly!

**This chapter was inspired by an AIM conversation about tequila and flying projectiles. You have been warned. Play the song 'Tequila' by the Champs through this chapter.**

"Oh my god! You guys have to try this!" Maddy exclaimed.

"Not a chance. I'm still recovering from my whiplash." I moaned, rubbing the back of my neck.

Katie glanced over at what Maddy was doing. She went running and sliding across the floor on her belly.

"This is great! It's like sledding… except without the sled… and the snow… and the WHOOSH!!!" She cried going at it again.

I received very weird stares from the Espada. One of them was about to ask something but I silenced him with my hand, "Yes. She'll be fine."

Mira grimaced, "I don't like it here."

"Random much?" Katie asked.

"No. Just true."

"My neck hurts… still…"

"Maybe you should take a Tylenol," Maddy offered.

"No way. Aleve is way better." Katie argued.

"But Advil is my every pain reliever." I countered.

We all agreed. Advil it was.

"Alright… does anyone have any Advil?" Mira asked.

We stared at each other.

"Cameron has some I think…" Maddy stopped sliding, crossed her legs, and began thinking like Pooh Bear.

"One problem, Sherlock," Katie flicked Maddy's head, "Cam's not _here_."

"He didn't come through the closet with us?" Mira asked, receiving more weird and blank stares.

I shook my head, "Oh snap… my neck…"

"Omg you drama queen!" Katie slapped my back.

"Omg you assaulted me!" I said rubbing my neck some more.

"Oh please. I only tapped your back!"

"AGH!!!" I fell on my side.

"Smooth." Mira sighed, "My little sister is now a narcoleptic."

I shook my hand for a random reason.

"And now her whiplash is giving her hand seizures."

"Maybe it's a new disease…" Katie said.

"Heh. Fallingoutofaclosetandgettingwhiplashandsiezures…. itis." Maddy came up with.

I stopped my seizures and sputtered out laughter.

"Oh Jesus! She's hallucinating!"

"Quick Maddy, get the needle!"

"Right!" She rushed back into the closet, "Guys I can't find a needle, but I found a lacrosse stick!" She chucked it out the door.

The stuck came hurdling at my face. I screamed and leaped to my feet. I took off in the opposite direction, I kept running long after it fell lifeless to the floor. I jumped and cowered behind Aizen's throne thingy.

He stared at me in bewildered amusement.

"Skye is afraid of fly projectiles coming at her face…" Mira explained.

"Really?" He asked. He then went to strike me his hand stopped right in my face.

Seconds before it stopped I screamed and fell back away from his hand.

"Is everyone mentally insane?! I could have died just now!"

"Of course you could have, Skye."

"I seriously could have!"

"Suuuure."

"Don't make me come over there!"

She made a mocking face. I lunged at her.

I pinned her to the floor then stopped. I peered into the closet and, people you would not believe what I found.

I sprinted to the closet, stepping on Katie in the mean time, and lifted up a bright box.

"Guys! Life is good."

"But we're dead… so to speak…" Grimmjow said.

"Well who said I was talking to you, Penguin-face!"

"Skye that made no sense." Mira said.

"It wasn't supposed to!"

"Why not?"

"Because I found…" I held the box high above my head, "I found tequila mix!"

**Oh crap. How will this end?? Actually I haven't really thought about it yet… hmm…?? Oh well… let me sleep on it. A nice glass of tequila will help me think.**


	16. Backpack! Backpack! Yum Yum Delicioso!

**Ok sorry people. I got my computer taken away for like the longest time in recorded history. Anhoo let's get back to the story.**

"You know what I just realized?" Mira began, "Is that this fic is labeled as a 'Naruto' fic. What the hell are we doing in Bleach? Why don't we go home soon? We could lose readers if we continue like this!"

Katie shrugged, "Hey, I don't write this story."

"Skye… any ideas?"

I shook my head, "It's not like I write this crap."

Mira rolled her eyes.

"I don't think it's crap…" Maddy sighed, "It's funny stuff."

"Maddy, just so you know, you think bowls of pudding are funny," Katie explained to her.

"I think pudding is funny." I mumbled under my breath.

"What I think is funny is that we're just sitting outside of a closet that fell from the sky in front of the major villains of the series and nothing is happening." Mira sulked crossing her legs.

"And that's a bad thing?" Katie asked.

"It means they fail epically." I said.

"And they won't get paid…" Maddy added.

"If they even get paid that is."

"Villains need to get paid too! Without them there'd be no plot."

"Maddy… what have you been smoking?"

"Oh you know… a bit of this and that." She grinned.

I nodded, "Okay then…"

It was silent for about 10 minutes.

"So where are you from again?" Grimmjow asked finally.

"Over the rainbow!" Maddy sang.

"No! NO! We are not turning this chapter into a musical number!"

"But it would be like High School Musical!!" Katie laughed.

"I thought you hated HSM…" Mira asked her.

"I do."

"No comment."

"Where are you from?!" He asked again, a little more harshly.

"Um… I don't remember my address!" Maddy cried out.

"You can't even remember your middle name." I teased her.

"Shut your face!"

"Why should I? Remember your middle name Maddy blankity blank Middlebrook!"

"Skye, leave it," Mira warned, "We're all tired and out of it and most likely high so we all just need to relax. Everyone inhale…"

We all complied and inhaled.

"And now exhale…"

I groaned as I exhaled, "My patience is wearing thin. Where's Cameron… he needs to share in our misery…"

"Make the tequila you found then."

"One problem…. We have no alcohol."

"NO!!!!!!!!!" Maddy screamed, making the Espada jump.

"Are you kidding?" I asked, "You jump at that? Pathetic." I scoffed and tossed my hair out of my face.

"At least they don't jump at stuff being thrown at their faces," Mira said looking at me.

"Hey! Shut up."

"Holy crapmuffins!" Maddy cried.

We turned to look at her.

She shrugged, "False alarm. I thought that if I screamed something would happen."

"I say we raid Maddy's backpack." Katie stated matter-of-factly.

Mira and I glanced at each other and nodded. Maddy immediately grabbed her backpack and ran. She dove behind Espada numero cinq… I mean cinco… damn my Spanish sucks big time! Stupid French class and its frenchyness!!! Anywho Espada #5… who's name escapes me at the moment…

Well whatever his name is he glanced at Maddy and rolled his eyes. Katie then blindsited her and I rushed her from the side and we magically got her bag from her. I tossed it to Mira and she opened it, dumping the contents on the ground. There were pencils, her cell phone, her iPod, and a picture of her boyfriend… but nothing of true interest.

"Don't hurt Guillermo!" Maddy cried.

"You named the backpack?" Mira raised an eyebrow.

"Don't you name your possessions?" she asked.

"No… but I did hear Jackie named her BMW," I told them.

"Like a car?"

I nodded, "I can't remember what it was but I do remember her spazzing over how people thought the Bug was a girl when it was a boy… or something like that."

"Why? What color is it?" Grimmjow asked me.

"Red."

"That's a girl color!" He said.

"Nuh-uh! It's both!" Mira yelled.

"How is it both? It's either masculine or feminine!" Katie sided with Grimmjow.

"You know what's not a boy color? Yellow. How can people think yellow is for boys… it's obviously for girls."

"Shut up Maddy. Just because your room was painted for a boy when you were born doesn't give you the right to hate colors," Mira scorned.

"Your parents thought you were going to be a boy?!" Katie screamed with laughter.

I laughed with her, "You disappointment you!"

Suddenly there was a loud ruckus from the closet.

"Oh Shaiza! It's squachmo!" I shouted.

"Squachmo…?" A few people around the room asked.

"It's something Sean and Chris came up with in English class…"

Maddy giggled, "Just like sour!!"

"Exactly."

"It's a sour!" Maddy pointed at the closet.

"Isn't sour an adjective?" Gin asked.

"Not. Anymore." Maddy hissed.

"OWWW!!!" came a holler from the closet.

"I know that holler…" Mira rushed to the closet.

Cameron emerged from the closet with a hula-hoop around his neck, he was panting. He glanced around the room then turned to look at us, "I found the way home!!"

**Ooh! Epic cliffhanger!!!!!! **


	17. I Could Have Been Home Sooner? Really!

**I have no comments when starting this chapter. That is all.**

"Really?!" We all leaped to our feet and darted over to him.

Cameron nodded, "You've had the power to go home all along!"

We stared in disbelief, "You're. Joking."

"Well why didn't you tell them before?" Aizen asked

"Well because they wouldn't have believed me."

"Are you out of your fucking mind?!" I screamed.

"But think about it, if you hadn't come here you would have never met us," Grimmjow said.

"Oh I could have done without the 12 of you. 4 girls hanging out in a room full of dudes! We had to sleep with our hands between our legs!"

"But Halibel's not a dude…" Mira reminded me.

"Well la-di-freakin-da!"

"You didn't have to be afraid of me…" Luppi said.

"Oh I picked up on that right away, tinsel toes."

"So how do we get home, you bastard?" Maddy shrieked.

"Just click your heels."

"Click me heels?!" I screamed in his face, "Listen, Mr. Commando, I'm about a hair away from punching you in the face!"

"Don't do that…" Luppi said.

"Shut up homo."

Grimmjow laughed, "Someone's pissed…"

"So we click our heels, then what?" Katie asked, "It'd better be more complicated than that or I'm gonna go ballistic!"

"Sure…" Cameron said with a wry smile, "Click your heels and say 'there's no place like home' and you would have been home in 2 seconds…"

"We could have been home two seconds after we got here?!"

"I was only trying to teach you a lesson…"

"TEACH US A LESSON?!" We cried, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? OUR PARENTS?"

Before we knew what happened, Cameron began laughing, "Ah you assholes should have seen your face just now! Utterly priceless!"

Mira stepped forward and kicked him in the unspeakable area.

Everyone in the room, including the Espada winced.

Maddy and Katie began hysterically laughing while Cameron fell to the ground in pain. I hid my laughter for as long as possible before joining them in their laughing. Mira huffed and glared.

When I recovered I looked down at my agonizing cousin, "Owey…"

"Damn straight!" Mira spat.

"Was that necessary?" Katie asked.

"Probably not." She replied, "But we all know he deserved that."

I nodded, "Sure… of _course_ we were all thinking that…"

"Well you were the angry one just now. Tell me I was wrong then, to have kicked him."

"Yeah… but a kick in the balls is a little harsh…" Maddy pointed out.

"Oh come off it."

"Can we just go home please?" Katie said shaking her head.

"Sure… just one problem," Mira began, "We don't know the real way."

"The hula-hoop!" Cameron strained.

"Oh. Thanks." Mira smiled innocently and skipped over to the dropped hula-hoop, "Hey yeah look… it's like a portal…"

"I feel like I'm in a cartoon where you just drop black holes and they magically take you places!" Maddy shrieked.

"Yeah Maddy. Exactly."

"Well, it's been fun. But bye!" I waved to the Espada before diving into the hoop.

"Yep. Bye peeps!" Maddy and Katie said in unison before jumping in after me.

"C'mon Cameron," Mira helped Cameron to his feet and pushed him into the portal, "See ya, Aizen!" She paused, "Oh wait… there was something I wanted to do first…" She then proceeded around the room. She stood in the center of the room and pointed at different Espada saying "you die… you die… I think you died but I don't know… nobody cares about what happened to you… he kills you… you die… nobody knows about you yet… you're still alive… and you just fail at life."

She then ran and jumped into the portal.

As we collided into a pile of bodies on the cold hard-wood floor of our house, Itachi looked away from the TV, "Have fun on your little trip?"

Maddy leaped to her feet and snatched the remote away from him. She ran the little channel changing device against her face, "Oooh!! Sweet, sweet technology!"

Katie looked at the _thing_ that stood in the corner of the room, "What the hell is that?"

Deidara came into the room, his hair wrapped in a towel, "That's a Christmas tree."

"That pathetic thing?!" I laughed, "Really?"

The tree was all but alive. It's needles were brown… well what needles it had left, and it drooped so far over that the star on the top touched the floor… not to mention it was only 2 feet tall.

"Is it not good enough?" Kisame asked coming into the room as well.

"Are you kidding? It's the ug—" Mira began but I cut her off.

"It's… uh… great…yeah… great!" I said.

"That's good. It took us forever to find!"

The five of us glance out the back window towards the pine forest in the back of our house, then shout in unison, "_REALLY?!"_

**If you don't know… the Wizard of Oz spoof is from a MadTV rerun I saw on… well MadTV so… if you want to see it go to youtube and look up 'Wizard of Oz Alternative Ending'. Thank you!**


	18. No Hair No Sanity

**Happy Belated New Year everyone! And from all of us here at When Hell Froze Over we're going to celebrate 2009 the right way…**

"Skye, do you have that tequila I gave you for Christmas last year?!" Maddy yelled across the house.

That's right. I went there. Alcohol.

"It's in the basement," I sighed, sitting next to Itachi on the sofa watching Law and Order.

"I don't understand why they don't just sentence him to death…" Itachi threw his hands up, "They have plenty of evidence, it's not like he's innocent in any way, shape, or form. He raped, killed her, and her family… his prints were everywhere!"

"Well, it wouldn't be called 'Law' and Order without the 'law' part. The trail takes up 30 minutes of the full hour so without the trial it would just suck. Besides the trials are the best part," I told him, not taking my eyes off the screen.

"Well for you… for me it's the beginning where the crime is actually committed and they find their victim."

"It would be, wouldn't it?" I raised my eyebrow and stared at him.

"Skye, the alcoholic beverages please?" Maddy shouted above our rant.

"Oh right, sorry, basement in the unfinished part."

"Oh my God, finally." She stormed down the stairs.

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the TV.

"What's a trial inauguration?" Itachi asked.

I shrugged, "I have no idea. Normally I just go by what Alex has to say in court."

He shrugged after me.

Behind us we heard a small cracking sound, like the pop when you crack your knuckles or something. We groaned, being distracted from our show once again, and turned around. To our surprise the small pathetic little tree that we used to celebrate Christmas with had kicked the bucket and broke in half.

"Aww…" Itachi sighed.

"I'm sorry. I know how hard you worked to—" I had to stop because I started giggling too hard.

Mira then came skipping through the door and saw the tree. Without a word she just began laughing with me.

Itachi ran his fingers through his hair, "Well sorry if we didn't try hard enough."

"I didn't mean anything by it, really I didn't."

"Hmph."

I scoffed, "Drama queen."

"Don't you mean drama _king_?" Mira asked me.

I shook my head, "No."

We stared at each other for several minutes as the three of us listened to a faint buzzing noise coming from the basement.

"What is that?" Mira said slowly.

I shook my head.

The two of us shot off like freaking bats out of hell towards the basement.

"Finally something interesting…" I mumbled.

We heard Cameron yell.

"That can't be good."

Down in the basement we saw the tequila mix stacked neatly on the wooden table against the wall and a bunch of wads of hair on the ground. Following the trail of hair we bumped into Cameron.

"What the hell is that sound? What's going on? What happened? Are you ok? Where's Maddy?" We bombarded him with questions.

He never did answer any of them; he just lifted a finger and pointed.

Standing in front of us was Maddy— and her new buzz cut hairstyle.

"Maddy! What the fuck?!"

She grinned at us, "Hey guys! Look I found some hair clippers!" She said holding up an electronic hair cutter.

"But why?!" We were both in a state of shock.

She ran her hand over her bald head and shrugged, "I don't know. I was bored."

"So you shave your hair off?"

Kisame came pounding down the stairs and stopped, "Hey I brought— holy crapmuffins!" He spattered and dropped whatever it was that was in his hands. He pointed a blue finger at Maddy's head, "h-h-hair!"

"I believe the correct answer is no hair," I said with a sympathetic expression.

"But your consolation prize is this," Mira handed him a broom and motioned towards the food he dropped and the hair on the floor.

"But that's icky…" He whined.

"And so are your gills, but do you hear me complaining? I don't think so!"

And so the day went on, Maddy was hairless, Mira was broomless, Katie was missing… less, and I was remoteless.

((did you all enjoy my use of 'less' just now? Hehe))

"Where the hell is the remote?" I shouted, placing the couch back down on all four legs.

"How the fuck would I know?" Hidan said from the next room.

"If you didn't take it, don't talk!" I snapped.

"What if I did take it, whore!" He snapped back.

"You trying to start something, pal?"

"Not unless you are, buddy!"

"Are you sure, bitch?" I growled.

He pulled his scythe out from against the wall, "I'm going to kick the shit out of you!"

"So that would make you a shit-kicker…"

He paused, "A what?"

"A shit-kicker."

"I don't appreciate names, you dirty bitch."

"You wouldn't would you, shit-kicker!"

"What's all this about kicking shit?" Maddy said walking into the room.

Hidan blinked, "Your hair… it's missing!"

"No shit Sherlock!" I told him.

He scowled at me.

"It's ok Skye. And yes, Hidan, I think I noticed that my hair is gone."

I skipped to Maddy's side, "You know what?" I whispered in her ear. She leaned in to hear me better, "I saw we shave off someone else's hair…"

She grinned, "That would be epic."

"But who?"

Maddy thought for a few minutes, when she found her idea she snapped her fingers, "Ulquiorra."

"Um… why?"

"Why not?" She raised her eyebrow and grinned, "I mean think about it. He's got that," She motioned to the space around her bald head, "He's got that _thingy_. What does he need hair for?"

I stared at her, "Ok… But _that_ may be a bit hard, don't you think?"

"How so?"

"We're here."

"And?"

"Well, he's… wherever he is that isn't here."

"Well why the fuck isn't he here?!"

"Maddy. Calm yourself!" I placed my hands on her shoulders, "We can go visit."

"We can!" She shrieked, making me wince.

"Sure. When we find a way to get there."

"Oh…"

To our surprise Katie and Cameron came tripping into the room. We looked up alarmed, they were panting and Cameron smacked his hand down on the table, "Skye, get changed, you're mother is done with husband number 5 and is coming back now!"

"Done?"

"Done. Over. Finito. End. Fin. Ende. And end/done in any other language I can think of."

"Dammit!"

**Ahahahaha, I'm so hyper. Read and review. DO IT!!!**


	19. WTF is this chapter here for?

**Hey sorry for the wait!! It's a long story… and to be frank, I don't really feel like telling it. So hah!**

"I want a banana," I said.

"I hate that word!" Maddy screamed, making Deidara jump, "I never know how many na's to put on it! Banan. OK. Banananan… DAMMIT!!!"

Katie then trotted into the room swaying from side-to-side, "Fruit Salad. Yummy, yummy. Fruit salad. Yummy, yummy!" she sang.

Pein shook his head, "Oh my god. What am I _doing_ here?!"

I threw my head back and laughed.

"What is wrong with you?" Kisame asked.

Mira entered the room, "Who knows."

"Wasn't your mother supposed to come this chapter?" Itachi asked.

"Oh. Yeah… she was wasn't she?" I moaned. I looked up at the ceiling, "Hey author lady! Can you not make my mommy come in this chapter?"

**Ummmmmm.. no. **

"Aw why?"

**Because I feel like it. And what I say goes.**

At that same moment Hidan entered ((there's a lot of entering going on here…)) and was just randomly standing there. ((Yes. People can enter a room and do nothing!))

"You're such a bitch." I shouted.

**Don't call me a bitch! Technically I'm you.**

"What?"

**I. Am. You.**

"So does that make me God?"

Hidan gave me a queer look. Oh right. The Jashin thing…. I forgot…

**Uh… sure…**

"So does that mean I can convert Hidan to Christianity?"

**No… but **_**I **_**can… I can also kill Pein then bring him back to life as a frog!**

"OMG DO IT!!!" Mira cheered.

"NO!" Pein screamed.

**Neh. I don't think I will. You're not even supposed to be talking to me. So shut up and get on with the chapter! **

"But what's supposed to be happening?" Katie asked.

**I don't know! Do something!**

"I can stand on my head…" Maddy raised her hand.

**Uh… Maddy that's great. Go to that somewhere where someone cares.**

"You're mean!" Hidan said.

**And you're an idiot. Now I'm going. Au Revoir.**

"Stop speaking Chinese!" Maddy cried.

"Maybe this chapter has no point…" I said.

"Maybe mom won't show!" Mira cheered.

But… like all cliché stories go, the doorbell rang.

"OH HELL NO!!"


	20. ECUADOR STICKERS!

**Sorry it took me so long to update. I've just been lazy.**

Mira hesitantly opened the door; Cameron strode in, crushing the poor girl behind the door as he pushed it open. ((haha no mother… yet… THE ANTICIPATION!!!!!))

Katie literally fell on the floor for no reason, "It's only Cam."

"I bring you bananas!" He smiled.

"Great! While I was having a conversation with myself I was craving a banana," I said, climbing out of my place on the chair.

"Come back!" Itachi said, "Super Nanny is coming on in 5 minutes!"

Cameron gave him an odd stare.

"BANANAS!!!" Maddy exclaimed, running to Cameron, arms extended. She grabbed the bushel of fruit and did the most unexpected thing. ((well not really unexpected. This is Maddy after all)) she ripped off all the product stickers and put them on her forehead, "Look! Now I'm from Ecuador!!"

We all stared at her. Just stared.

The door swung back and Mira moaned as she fell flat on her face, "Ow."

Cameron looked at her, "Oh. Did I do that? Oh well." And they all went back to staring at Maddy, who was glowing like a little child in a toy store.

"Ecuador?" Katie asked, "Are they seriously from Ecuador?"

"Yes bitch, don't question me!"

"Maddy, was that nice? Do we have to put you on the naughty step again?" I placed my hands on my hips.

"If anyone still cares, I just got beaten up by a door…" Mira said coming into the room with a bloody nose.

Maddy whirled around to face her, "NO ONE _DOES_ CARE. GO WALLOW IN SELF PITY!!"

Mira was stunned.

**SCENE CHANGE!! OMG SCENE CHANGE!!!**

Mira was holding Maddy over the balcony railing, "What do you say?"

"Don't drop me!"

"Don't drop me what?"

"Um…. You're pretty?"

"What? No! Please stupid!"

"Ooooh. Hey! Hey! Mira! A bee just flew down my shirt!"

I was leaning against the door frame chuckled, "I kinda hope it stings your boob."

Kisame looked at her funny, "What?"

"Oh you know you like it!" I snarled.

**((I just realized that I switch from 1****st**** person to 3****rd**** person… A LOT… so bear with me. 'Skye' and 'I' are the same person.))**

Mira looked back at him, "Really? You should be used to this by now."

From downstairs, I heard Deidara and Sasori arguing.

I cursed, "Fuck. I'd better go break them up before the neighbors complain again."

Mira shrugged, "If worse comes to worse we can just put beer bottles in their mailbox again."

I nodded, "True." As I trotted down the stairs, the arguing became louder. I hear cheering on the TV.

**((Warning: I have just finished watching the move 'Stick It' with my little sister… and it's intense… so for this scene I have gotten inspiration from that movie. Not to mention the fact that I am a gymnast.))**

"What are you two freak shows doing with my gymnastics home video?"

Deidara and Sasori turned to her, "You're amazing."

"Was." I said shutting off the video. Deidara turned it back on.

"Hey, filibuster, no one cares!"

"Tell us what it was like?"

"What what was like, nim-rod?"

"Ninja-ing around like that-un."

"Ugh. Gymnastics tells you nothing. All day long. It mocks you over and over again. Telling you that you're an idiot. That you're crazy." She saw herself doing vault on the screen, "If you like running full speed towards a stationary object, vault is for you." The screen then jumped to her doing uneven bars, "If you like peeling skin the size of quarters off your hands, bars is for you. Because the only thing more fun than rips, is when your rips get rips. It's super sexy. And floor, are you serious, I mean who doesn't want to parade around in a leotard getting wedgies and doing dorky choreography? It's delicious. If you like falling, then gymnastics is THE sport for you! You get to fall on your face, your ass, your back, your knees, and your pride! It's a good thing I didn't like falling... I LOVED IT!" She sang.

They stared at her, "You are truly crazy."

She bowed, "Thank you."

Mira came down the stairs followed by Maddy, "But Mira, are you sure you didn't get me anything from the grocery store?"

"I'm so sure, I'm practically deodorant."

"But without them how will I ever get into college?!" Maddy threw her arms up.

I threw myself down onto a couch, "The fact that she can even say the word 'college' is and indictment against the _whole_ institution."

"Maddy, I don't think colleges are looking for girls with Ecuador stickers."

"YOU NEVER KNOW!"

"And you, miss 'I can't do gymnastics because I hate work', I'm guessing college gymnastics isn't on your to-do list?"

"Correct. College gymnastics is one big fat to-don't."

Mira rolled her eyes. Then the doorbell rang.

Kakuzu ((I realized we haven't seen much of him lately.)) walked in, "It that your mother that was supposed to show up 2 chapters ago?"

"God I hope not." Skye moaned.

"I don't think so," Mira said as she went to the door, "If it was, she wouldn't have bothered ringing the bell, she would have just burst into the room in a dramatic fashion."

"Ah true." They all agreed.

Mira opened the door and shrieked, "AH! The Arrancars are back!"

Maddy leaped up and down, exasperated, "OH NO!!! I-ran-into-a-car?? WHAT EVER WILL WE DO?!!!"

**That's right kids. I'm just gonna end it there cause I have nothing better to do than to leave you readers in suspense. Again.**


	21. Ramble Ramble Cinderella

**Ok I've been so lazy. This story definitely needs updating so here I go.**

"Arrancar?" Skye yelled, "Why? I'm pretty sure this is a Naruto fic. Stupid Bleach always getting in the way."

"Skye!" Mira snapped, "I'm pretty sure this is more important than your rambling."

"What could be more important than rambling?!" Skye gasped.

"Yeah, Mira," Maddy agreed, "Rambling makes everyone feel a little less stressed."

"But, but…" Mira was dumbstruck, looking from her sister to the arrancars at the front door, "What about these guys?!"

"Oh Mira." Skye shook her head; she walked over to the front door, took it from Mira and then slammed it closed on the arrancars.

Mira's jaw hit the floor, "You can't be serious."

Skye shrugged, she was about to leave to go upstairs when a sword cut cleanly through the front wooden door and was about 2 inches from Skye's nose.

She jumped, "WTF!"

The all jumped back from the door.

**I love how the akatsuki do nothing… oh wait… I'm the author… I should make them do something……………………………………………….. nah. For the time being they'll just be lazy asses.**

"I don't know much about Bleach," Katie said, "But I don't think that's a good sign."

"I have a plan!" Skye said, holding her finger up.

"Does it involve epic maneuvers??" Maddy asked.

"Something like that…" Skye smirked, "Everybody hide!"

Mira rolled her eyes. But everyone darted upstairs and up into the attic. Crammed inside a tiny space were the Akatsuki and the four girls.

"When I meant 'hide'," Skye said through gritted teeth, "I didn't mean everyone in the same place!"

"Ohhh…" Everyone said.

Skye sighed, "Morons."

Katie turned to Itachi, "Wait, you're ninjas! Why aren't you fighting them off?"

Hidan turned to her, "They have swords!"

Skye's mouth opened in disbelief, "You have a scythe! With 3 blades!!! And you can't die!!"

He stared down at the ground in front of him. ((or whatever ground he could see considering it was so crammed.)) "Oh…"

"Yes!"

Suddenly another sword punctured through the floor and cut a circle around them. The floor gave way and they all fell into Skye's room through her ceiling.

Skye, Mira, Katie, and Maddy stared up at the huge hole in the ceiling, "We are so dead."

But they were surrounded by Arrancar.

Skye turned to the one who had emo tattoos coming from his eyes, "Listen, you're probably mad about the shoe thing… but let me just say… it was all Mira's fault!"

"What?! It's Katie's fault for finding the closet!" Mira argued.

"So it's your fault!" Maddy pointed.

"No!" Katie defended herself.

"Then whose is it?"

"Well Skye's the one who had to use her nose!"

"So it's her fault then!"

"Wait a minute. So I climb up the beanstalk right that's clear but without any beanstalk then what's queer is how did the second giant get down here in the first place… second place." Skye sang ((quoting Into the Woods))

"What?" They all said.

"Never mind. Well its Maddy's fault for finding the door to not-Narnia!"

"Yes!" Mira and Katie agreed.

They all pointed at her, "You're responsible, you're the one to blame, and it's your fault!"

"Shhhhhh!" Maddy said, "It doesn't matter now."

"Duh!" Katie said, "There's not much we can do considering there are swords in our faces."

"True…"

"Then what?"

Mira turned to Ulquiorra, "What do you want? You're not even supposed to be here in this story."

"We're here for revenge," he replied in a monotonous voice.

"For the shoe?! What ridiculousness!"

"If it's not for that then leave!"

**Time change because I have no idea what to do now.**

"Well that wasn't so bad." Deidara said as they all sat around the counter.

Katie hit him over the head with a spatula, yes. A spatula. "You didn't do anything!!"

"Yeah jerk." Mira scoffed, eating a banana.

Upstairs, Skye was changing her clothes because "they had attic germs" on them.

"Hey, Itachi, piano or stars?"

"Huh?" He asked.

"Piano? Or. Stars?"

"Uh… Piano?" He offered.

"Stars it is." She pulled out a belt covered in stars.

Itachi shook his head, "I'm hungry."

"Aren't we all?"

As they came into the kitchen, Mira turned to them, "So, what I've been wondering this whole time is how did the Arrancars get here in the first place?"

"Maybe they found their own not-Narnia door."

"Then how did they find _us_?"

They all shrugged, "Do you care?"

"Uh, yes! I do!"

"Oh… Well we don't know."

The phone rang ((how anticlimactic))

Skye, of course, answered it, "Hello? Hey. What dance? Oh that one. No. Who are you taking? Dump him. Just dump him. Dump him hard!"

Maddy took the phone from Skye, "You want to get rid of him? You're going to need a road flare, a barrel of maple syrup, and a mini trampoline. But we're not using the maple syrup the way you think."

Mira and Itachi looked at each other and mouthed, "Syrup?"

They hung up the phone.

"What was that all about?"

"A plan to dump this annoying girl."

"Uh-huh…"

Katie turned to Maddy, "Ok Maddy, ready to get back to our roll playing pop quiz?"

Maddy nodded, then stopped, "Wait… what?"

"Remember? Not 5 minutes ago we were trying to see what kind of person you are."

"Oh… ok. Go!"

"Ok, so you haven't eaten for days and you're starving and in desperate need of a sandwich. What do you do?"

"I go downstairs and ask Mira to make me a sandwich."

"Yes. But Mira's not there."

"Where's Mira?"

"She left the country."

Maddy jumped out of her seat, "Left the country?! Why? Is she ok?!"

Katie shook her head, "She's fine!"

"Oh… well if she's fine I don't see why she couldn't make me a sandwich."

Katie shook her head.

"It's ok, Katie." Mira said.

"Mira!" Maddy said, "You're back!"

Mira banged her head against the table.

Skye patted her back, "It's going to be ok."

Sasori also patted her back, but a little awkwardly and said, "Banging you head… will, uh, do you know good."

Skye pushed him away, "Be gone. You don't help."

"Would a little Shrek the Musical make you feel better?" Katie asked.

Mira nodded from her place on the table.

Katie brought in some headphones and placed them on Mira's head and pressed play on the black iPod.

Mira's foot stepped in time with the music and she was mumbling words to herself.

"Awkward… but ok!" Skye said stepping back.

"Skye make me a sandwich." Maddy said.

"Sure… wait. Fine." She reluctantly began making a sandwich for Maddy, muttering her own song words to herself, "'Mother said be good, father said be nice that was always their advice. So be nice Cinderella, good Cinderella, nice, good, good, nice.'"

"Don't forget the mayo!" Maddy snapped.

"'What's the good of being good if everyone is blind and you're always left behind. Never mind Cinderella, kind Cinderella, Nice good nice kind good nice."

Maddy slapped her across the face, "Not that much!"

"Sorry."

"Maddy WTF?!" Katie said.

"Idk. She was singing about Cinderella and I thought I should add effect by being an evil step sister."

"Oh Maddy," Katie shook her head.


	22. Rumplstiltskin in Spain?

Skye walked through the front door and threw her bag on a nearby chair, hitting Kakuzu on the side of the head with the bag.

"Hey! Watch it!" He snapped.

"OMFG I forgot you were even here in this fic!"

"You say that like it's a good thing that you forgot about me…"

Skye puffed out her chest, "So what if it is… wanna fight about it?"

He got to his feet and Skye recoiled, "NO! Never mind! You're so ugly it's scary! It's like watching a masculine version of _The Ring_."

Mira walked into the room, "Skye, you have a phone call."

"And you have a face. Wanna fight about it?"

Kakuzu turned to Mira, "Just ignore it."

Mira nodded, "I have been for the past 15 years. I probably have a tumor shaped like her face on my brain."

Skye went to the phone and pressed it to her ear, "Hello?" and as soon as she heard that high pitched voice of her mother on the other end, she changed her voice to imitate an Indian guy, "Um I'm sorry but you have the wrong number." Then slammed the phone down on the receiver.

"What was that all–" Mira began but was interrupted.

Skye burst into tears.

"Why are you crying?" Mira asked.

"Because we have to go back to school soon!!" Skye balled.

"Is that why you're crying?"

"No! It's just something I don't want to do!"

"Then why are you crying?!"

"I don't know!"

The doorbell rang.

There were screams from all around the house.

Skye wiped her eyes and went to answer the door. And in all her bright pink glory (or not gloryness…) stormed in her mother.

"Mom!" Skye gasped.

"Sorry deary. I tried to call but all I got was some Indian guy."

Skye bit her lip, "ooh…"

"So where's the baby sitter?" Her mother demanded instantly.

"Good question…"

Her mother grabbed her shoulders, "You're lost! Oh God he lost you!"

Mira walked in, "Mom. Obviously not! We're still in the house!"

Hidan leaned against the back wall, trying to stay hidden, "I see where they get it from…"

Sasori walked into the entryway and stopped, frozen, "Mrs. Mooreland… what a surprise… you should have called…"

"I did. All I got was an Indian man."

Sasori instantly looked at Skye, then back to their mother, "Oh well, the girls and I have been having some bonding time since you last stopped by."

Mira grimaced, "Bonding… suuuure."

"SHH!" Sasori snapped, "We have!"

Skye turned to him, hands on her hips, "What's my middle name?"

There was a long pause then Sasori blurted, "Rumplestiltskin!"

Mira and Skye looked at each other, "How did you know!!"

Their mother looked baffled.

"Uh…… inside….joke?"

She shrugged then marched into the living room, "I received a letter from Cameron saying he will return before summer ends. But, I have refused his offer to watch you two again."

They literally almost lost their balance, "What?!"

"Instead, you two will come to live with Hank and me in Madrid!"

"SPAIN?!"

Their mother nodded happily.

"No! You can't do that!" Mira protested.

"I CAN'T SPEAK SPANISH!!!" Skye cried again, "AND I CAN'T FIND MY HARRY POTTER DVDS!!!"

Mira slapped her, "Stop crying over random things!"

"I CAN'T HELP IT!"

"But in all seriousness… We can't go! We love it here!"

"No arguments." Her mother said, "And go change… you look like you just came back from the Woodstock concert… all filthy and dressed like a hippie."

"What brought up moving though?" Sasori asked, stepping in.

"I was talking to a very persuasive man on Skype. He had orange hair and a lot of facial piercings but he had a lot of good ideas."

"Oh. I am soooo going to kill him…" Skye grit her teeth. Suddenly over her mental breakdown.

**Yeah sorry it's SUPER short. But I'm literally falling asleep at my keyboard. So… review. DO IT OR RUMPLESTILTSKIN WILL EAT YOUR LIVERS!!!!**


	23. Dressy Tessie Tura!

**Heyy everybody, sorry for the looooong wait. School is a bitch. But I'm hoping to get back into my fics soon enough.**

**I'm dedicating this chapter to GrimmjowsGirl1 mainly because she was the one who PMed me and told me to get my ass in gear with my fics. So thanks! Seriously.**

**So as I recall, I think Skye and Mira and whoever else is living in that poor poor house have encountered Mrs. Pinky McPink Pants ((AKA Skye and Mira's mother)) and she wants them to come live with her and husband number 4… or was it 5? I can't keep track of these things! **

**And before I start… speaking of that poor house… it's a miracle that is hasn't been completely trashed yet! I mean… dude! The Akatsuki haven't been known for their cleanliness.**

"I think it would just be easier to kill her and then we can all get on with our lives," Kakuzu crossed his arms. Everyone, minus Mrs. Mooreland, sat in Skye's attic room huddled in a circle.

"And I think that's a terrible idea," Mira said.

"Yeah just shut up." Skye agreed.

Maddy joined the conversation, "Actually, he may have a—"

"Maddy you're not helping!" the two sisters yelled in unison.

"I surrender! Don't pummel me!"

Shaking his head, Sasori gazed down at the floor, "So anymore ideas?"

"We could always push her into a cardboard box and ship her to China," Katie said.

"I'd feel bad for the Chinese people," Deidara sighed.

"True… then how about someplace where people wouldn't care if she's there or not?"

"Like…?"

"The Swiss Alps."

"Katie, she'd scream until an avalanche destroyed all of Switzerland," Mira said.

"That would be quite a lawsuit…" Maddy said.

"How about we forget the cardboard box," Skye said, "Any other ideas?"

No one spoke. A lot of faces seemed disappointed at the fact that they couldn't just kill the woman in pink.

Skye sighed, "So China?"

"China." Everyone nodded in agreement.

All except Itachi.

"Really? C'mon it's more humane than killing her." Maddy tried to persuade him.

"But you have to admit killing her would be—" Kisame spoke up but Skye cut him off.

"No one asked you, Fish!"

From below there was a ringing of doorbells and the scrambling of heels.

"Ok, what the hell is going on? We never get visitors." Mira said, "We'll go down and check." She grabbed Skye's shirt.

"In the meantime," Skye began, "Think of a better idea."

There was a huge sigh of disappointment.

Downstairs Mira and Skye could see and man standing at the front door and their mother happily inviting him in.

With a gasp of shock, the sisters instantly recognized the red hair and facial piercings, "Pein.." They hissed.

"Oh girls, I'm glad you're here. This is Agent Smith from the Children's Agency." Their mother introduced Pein.

"Agent. Smith?" Mira's jaw dropped.

"Children's. Agency?" Skye copied.

"That's right! He's the one who gave me the wonderful idea to take you to Spain with me! I think you owe him a thank you!"

"Oh I know what we owe him!" Skye went to pull up her sleeve, balling her hand into a fist.

Mira instantly held her back, "Calm down, we'll have our chance…"

Their mother came running over to them and wrapped them in a squished embrace, "We're going to be a family! You, me, and Hank."

"I swear to God mom, I'm moving out and becoming a stripper," Skye mumbled.

"Oh I love you too, honey!"

Skye and Mira rolled their eyes at each other.

"Think of it girls, a nice farm house in Madrid… we can put some cows in the backyard!"

"Hey, that's pretty sexy," Skye shrugged.

"Not a real cow! Some lawn decoration cows perhaps."

Skye shook her head, "Get the anti-stress kit, Mira!"

Out of Mira's back pocket she pulled out a piece of paper and taped it to the nearest wall. On the paper it said 'Anti-Stress Kit: Bang Head Here'.

Then, all of a sudden, just as Skye was about to bang her head into a bloody mess, she grabbed Mira and ran back upstairs howling, "I've got an idea! I've got an idea!"

**One Hour Later**

"This is a crazy idea!" Mira exclaimed, "She'll never buy this!"

Skye screeched with laughter, "Mama doesn't know squat about the people of Madrid."

"So lemme get this straight…" Sasori sighed, "You're going to prance around the house dressed as strippers of the mid-20's and claim it's how the women are raised in Spain?"

"Yessir."

"And how are you so sure it's going to work?"

"Well in the Broadway musical Gypsy, they went to a house of burlesque and the mother thought it was disgusting and wanted nothing to do with it so maybe if we're lucky that's what's going to happen with us!"

"This is crazy and I look like a freak!" Mira exclaimed.

"No. You look like a _stripper_!"

"It's pretty sexy." Hidan nodded in approval.

"You shut your hole, got it?" Skye snapped.

"Yes ma'am."

"Good." The two sisters examined themselves in the mirror. Skye was dressed in nothing but a bra that was shaped like a butterfly and a skirt that was cut into ribbons with a G-string-like thing in the front. Skye bumped savagely but the G-string wouldn't bump with her.

Mira on the other hand was dressed as a pseudo-exotic grand stripper titled 'Queen of the Gladiators'. She had a gladiator helmet on with a leather vest and a tight leather mini skirt. She had lace up boots and wore bright red lipstick to complement her hat.

"Let's finish this, I've got a wedgie." Skye said.

Smirking behind them, Katie and Maddy snickered as they strode down the stairs.

In the kitchen, Mrs. Mooreland was in a detailed conversation about shopping in Madrid which was obviously boring the hell out of Pein. Skye burst into the kitchen, bumping her hips wildly.

"It ain't weighted right, goddamit! It scratches the hell out of me and it just don't bump when I do!"

Mira strut by and headed for the refrigerator, "Maybe there's something wrong with your bumper."

Skye sneered at her, "Big joke!" She then turned to Pein, "I'm out there bumpin' my brains off with no action and she's bein' witty!"

Mrs. Mooreland almost fell out of her chair, "WHAT IS THIS FILTH?!"

"We're preparing for Madrid, Mama." Mira said.

"How so?!"

"This is what the women do there, so we're getting a head start."

"Strippers in Madrid?"

"Of course!"

"You couldn't have found an interest in something classy like…regular theater?"

"Regular theater, my eye!" Skye laughed, "There ain't no regular theater left except burlesque."

"But it'll be so nice in Madrid, we don't need this filth! You two can share a room and—"

"Mother, sharin' a room is like sleeping together. And if you don't get along with—" Mira cut off her sister.

"Please: There's a lady present!"

"Where?!"

"Open your eyes instead of your mouth!"

Mrs. Mooreland threw up her hands, "This is it! I can't take my girls to Madrid if it means leading them into Burlesque! Quickly girls, get the bible! Get the bible!"

In excitement, the two girls quickly headed back upstairs. From below, they could hear their mother turning to Pein, "I'm sorry Mr. Smith, but your offer is declined. I'd rather have my children stay here than dancing… no stripping… in front of other people!"

"But Mrs. Mooreland," Pein objected.

"Enough! Tomorrow I'm sending for Cameron. He'll set their heads straight."

"But… but… but…" Pein stuttered as Mrs. Mooreland ushered him to the front door.

"Good day, Agent Smith," She went to close the door.

"But…"

"I said good day!" She slammed the door shut.

"Hah! Suck it!" Maddy exclaimed at the sound of the door slamming.

"I love Broadway." Skye smirked evilly as she reclined in a chair.

"Gypsy really saved us didn't it?" Mira asked.

"It sure did. All we needed was someone who wore a pair of lingerie that lit up and we would have had all three strippers from that musical. I would have been Tessie, Mira would have been Mazeppa."

"I would've been Electra!" Maddy sighed.

"I know. I know."

Mira kicked at the air, "But we're not going to Spain! Adios stupido!"


	24. Just A Little TLC

**I'M BACK BITCHES! Sorry for the wait. This time I was just being lazy.**

"So, let me get this straight? You used Broadway as an excuse to keep you from moving to Spain?" Cameron crossed his arms and stared at Skye and Mira who sat side-by-side on the couch, flicking through the channels on the TV.

"Less like _excuse_, more like _lie_." Mira drawled out.

"Now shut up!" Skye said, "Project Runway is on."

Deidara came around the corner of the stairs, "ooh Project Runway? I love this show!"

Skye tugged on the end of her braid, "OMG me tooooooo."

Cameron shook his head, hiding a smirk and went into his room to watch something other than TLC.

"I think if I tried hard enough, I could design clothes _waaaay _better than THAT shaiza," Mira shook her head, slightly disgusted at what she saw on TV.

"Um… I think a fish could design better clothes than that." Skye agreed.

Kakuzu then walked into the living room with a can of root beer in his hand, "Where are Katie and Maddy today?"

"Um… Katie is seeing her sister off to college and Maddy, now spelled M-A-D-I for the record, is getting her hair dyed since it's starting to grow in again.

Suddenly, Mira slapped Skye in the chest.

"Dammit Mira! My boob!"

"Sorry. But Skye! I know what we're going to do today!"

"Does it involve a mammogram? Cause that hurt…"

"Maybe later, but let's design clothes!"

"For who?"

Skye's light bulb lit up and the sisters turned to gaze at the few Akatsuki that sat around the living room.

"We don't need— or want— new clothes," Kakuzu said flatly.

"On the contrary, you look like gay versions of the grim reaper in your red and black cloaks… just sayin'."

"I'll get the fabric!" Skye leaped up and began walking to the closet in a way that looked like she was running in slow motion.

"Skye…" Mira raised an eyebrow.

"Oh I'm not being cool, my foot's asleep," Skye said, dragging her leg behind her. Mira shook her head.

**Hours Later**

"No Skye! I will use everything that involves needles, scissors, machinery, and pins!"

"Then what can I do!"

"You can sit in that chair and tell me what colors look good."

"But you're only using one color!"

"Ugh fine! Tie knots in this piece of string for me!" Mira handed Skye some knitting yarn.

Deidara leaned over and whispered in Mira's ear, "We don't need knotted yarn…"

"I know. It's just something for her to do to pass time," She whispered back.

**More Hours Later**

"Mira! I'm done knotting the yarn!"

Mira looked up from her work station and gasped, Skye had tied together a beautiful tube scarf.

"Whadda ya think? It is ok?"

"Amazing! Can you make 8 more just like it?"

"Really!" Skye's eyes got misty, "I can do something right!"

"Sure…" Mira nodded.

**Even More Hours Later**

"Mira can we stop now?" Skye moaned, "It's like 4 in the morning!"

"Oh Skye, it's 4 in the afternoon, relax!"

"Yeah! The next day! We've been working on this for almost a whole day! That's 24 hours I'll have you know!"

"I know how to tell time, Skye, thank you very much."

"Can we be done now? I'm done with the scarves and you have to be almost done with that… that… thing you're making."

"Actually I am."

Skye's eyes brightened, "Really?"

"Mhm." Mira took up the last piece of fabric she was working on and held it up to show her sister.

"Oh. My. God." Skye's jaw hit the floor.

**The Next Day**

"NO WAY IN HELL AM I COMING OUT DRESSED IN THIS SHIT!" Hidan's cursing mouth hollered from the bathroom.

"But it's beautiful!"

"IT'S FUCKING UGLY!"

"Come on, loser!"

The doorknob twisted and Hidan stepped out into the light wearing a tight pink leather 60's jumpsuit with lights twinkling all over.

"I CAN'T FEEL ANY PART OF MY BODY! IT'S TOO TIGHT!"

"Nonsense. I measured to perfection!"

"YOU USED SKYE AS A MODEL!" (Skye is 5ft 2.5 and very petite... Hidan is roughly 6ft 2 and muscular =P)

"Hey Mira, I can't seem to find the—" Itachi said walking into the bedroom. He stopped and looked Hidan up and down numerous times before turning on his heels and walking out, not even bothering to finish his question.

"See! It's ridiculous!"

"I think it's because you're not wearing the right shoes…" Skye said, evaluating the situation. She darted into the closet and came out holding a pair of knee high white go-go boots.

"PERFECT!" Mira exclaimed.

"No!" Hidan said, running from the room.

"What do you think his problem is?" Mira asked, watching him leave.

Skye shrugged, "Maybe he's allergic to latex…"

**Thanks everybody! It's short but I needed to make room for another plot thingy soon! Looking forward to it? You'd better be!**


	25. Happy Turkey Day?

"A ticket? You got a speeding ticket?" Mira looked incredulous.

Madi hung her head, "It wasn't my fault."

"Wasn't your fault?" Skye asked, "You were _alone_ in the _car_ going _90_ on a _35_!"

"The numbers got all mixed around. I thought it said 55!"

"YOU WERE GOING 90!" Mira and Skye yelled in unison.

"Maybe if you flew, this wouldn't happen." Deidara said, sauntering by. (haha English vocab word!)

"Yes cause we have extra mouths on our hands that make clay birds," Mira shook her head.

"…That would be sexy…" Skye said, pondering the possibilities. Mira smacked her in the back of the head.

"Well you have to get that taken care of," Cameron strode into the room, flipping through today's mail, "It'll come back to haunt you if you don't."

"Yeah. Haunt you like the image of Hidan in spandex!" They all shuddered.

"C'mon," Mira said, "We'll take the bus, instead of risking having Madi drive."

"I can take her," Cameron offered.

"NO! YOU'LL JUST LECTURE ME ON HOW SPEEDING ENDANGERS LIVES!" Madi cowered closer to the front door.

"So what does that mean?" He asked.

"We'll take the bus to the courthouse and be back later."

Cameron suddenly looked startled, "Wait… what?"

"We'll be back!"

"You can leave me here alone with… _them_." He motioned to the Akatsuki. Tobi waved happily.

"We can… and we will." Skye slammed the door behind her.

From outside, their little side conversations could be heard:

"If this is Newtown… then is there and Oldtown?"

"No."

"On the way back, can we stop and get a Twinkie? I kinda want a Twinkie."

"No."

"Does anyone find it funny that a nighthawk is a bird the size of a boot? I mean it sounds so intimidating… nighthawk…_night…hawk_… NIGHTHAWK!…. CA-CAW!"

"SHUT UP MADI!"

Cameron turned around and shaking, walk into the living room. He sat himself down in big comfy leather futon and stared straight ahead at the beige wall, "Soo… where's Katie?"

"Which one is that?" Itachi said, looking up from his new found Harry Potter book.

"Katie… dark hair…" Nothing. "Grey wolf?" Still nothing. "The calmest one?"

"Oh yes!" "Yes" "Yeah" echoed from around the room.

Cameron pursed his lips as the room became awkwardly silent again.

"So…" He tried.

Kakuzu raised his hand and shushed him, "Your petty attempts at small talk and driving me up a wall. Silence yourself, or I'll do it for you."

Cameron rolled his eyes and muttered, "Tightass…" under his breath.

Kakuzu glared with his bright green eyes, "What was that?"

Cameron shrugged, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ladies please!" Kisame interjected from the kitchen. Just then, something made a loud popping noise and everybody froze.

"Kisame?" Itachi growled, angry to be disturbed during his Harry Potter reading-athon.

"I don't think that was supposed to happen…"

"What are you doing?" Cameron asked, tightly gripping the futon arm in agitation.

"Well it's almost Thanksgiving so I wanted to make a turkey, but it doesn't want to go in the oven."

"It doesn't want to?"

Suddenly a big brown bird bolted into the living room, knocking over lamps and crashing into shelves sending objects flying.

"IT WASN'T DEAD?"

"Who said anything about a _dead_ turkey?"

"Shut up!" Itachi said, "Catch that bird!"

Cameron dove at the turkey, but it jumped and he landed face first in the fireplace, soot and ash covering the entire top half of his body.

Sasori tried to attach chakra strings to the bird as it ran past, but it swerved and tangled them all up in the banister of the staircase.

The other Akatsuki members tried cornering the bird, but then it got angry. The large brown turkey chased Hidan up a wall… literally… he clung to the ceiling fan.

"Enough of this, hm!" Deidara shouted, in his hands he help large explosive spiders and he launched them at the bird before anybody could stop him.

"NOOO!" Cameron yelled, but it was too late.

***BOOM!***

**Later that day**

"Ugh! Who knew you had to pay_ money_ when you get a ticket…" Madi spat as the girls walked up the front path up to the house… which seemed perfect on the outside.

"Didn't you learn anything in driver's ed?" Skye asked.

"Those classes are actually _mandatory?_" Madi looked at her incredulously.

Mira just shook her head and unlocked the door. She didn't even have to turn the doorknob when the front door fell off its hinges and crashed to the ground.

"What… the… hell?" Mira cried. Skye and Madi came rushing to her side.

They stared inside in shock. Everything was either on fire, charred, or burned to a crisp.

Skye let out a laugh/sigh, "It wasn't me this time!"

"WHAT HAPPENED!" Mira exclaimed.

Cameron appeared from all the rubble, covered in black soot, "Well… uh…"

"Two hours! We left you alone for TWO HOURS!"

"I can fix this!" Cameron said, "In the meantime, we'll just have to stay in hotel or something."

"That sounds nice… I like hotels…" Skye nodded.

Just then, the big brown turkey came flapping into the living room.

"Either I'm hallucinating from inhaling so much Madi-stupid all day, or there's a turkey in my house…" Skye said.

The turkey trotted up the Madi and she stroked it's long neck, "Ol' McDonald had a farm… ee ay ee ay oh!"

"A hotel it is!" Mira said quickly.

**A hotel? With the Akatsuki? This definitely won't end well…. I hope everyone had an enjoyable Thanksgiving! I know these people did!**


	26. Monty Python and the Living Author

**Hey everybody! Wow, can't believe it's been two years since I last updated this fic! Pretty epic if you ask me. Well the reason I haven't been very active lately is because… *sniffle* I growed up. School and university are terrible! Well I'm at work now and since it's super super boring (secretary work) I'm updating this fic for you! I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU!**

**So where did I leave off?**

**Hotel?**

**Ok… let's just start there. By the way, I can't remember how old these kids are anymore soooooo they can be my age now… 18. DON'T QUESTION MY LOGIC! **

"Whoaaaa! Look at the size of this room!" Mira gaped. Cameron had poured all his money into a penthouse suite room large enough to fit the 3 of them plus the Akatsuki.

"What about uuuuuuusssssss!" Madi complained.

Skye put her hands on her hips, "Madi, go home!"

"Skye's right. You don't actually live with us."

Skye awed at her sister, "You said I'm right for once!"

"Once. I doubt it will ever happen again." Mira slapped her.

Skye dragged herself over to a room claimed the one closest to the bathroom.

"But I wanna stay here!" Madi continued to whine.

"NO! GO HOME!" Mira shouted.

"My room isn't as nice as this!"

"Then take down your Demi Lovato and Camp Rock posters and maybe you won't have an issue!"

"But I loooove them."

"That's unhealthy…."

And with that last bit of hopeful advice, Madi sulked out the door.

"Well now that she's gone…" Cameron began.

"The akatsuki are missing." Skye stood, leaning on the doorframe.

"I would expect so. Since it took the writing staff 2 years to update this story…"

…**Sorry…**

"Whatever. I'm sure they're around here somewhere…."

**Akatsuki? Where are you? You're wanted on set!**

Deidara looked up from his People magazine, "Really?"

Hidan knocked his chair over as he got up, "About fucking time!"

…**Sorry for the wait y'all….**

"Don't let it happen again." Pein stated.

**Yeah yeah. Wiseass. **

"What did you say?"

**Nothing.**

"CAN WE GET BACK TO THE STORY PLEASE?" Skye exclaimed, "I FEEL TWO YEARS OLDER ALREADY!"

"Yeah Skye, you're like 18 or something…" Mira sighed.

"Don't remind me…." She pouted. Then immediately perked, "But look, Mira!" She pointed at herself, "I have boobs!"

"It would worry me more if you didn't…" Mira sighed before deciding it wasn't worth talking about anymore and leaving to claim a room as far away from Skye's as possible.

"I wanna go swimming." Toby stated.

"It's freezing outside." Cameron stated.

"No. It's been two years. It's June now."

"Riiiiiiight… forgot about that."

"Swimming swimming swimming swimming!" Toby chanted. If Cameron didn't have such great self-control, I think Toby would probably be soooo very very dead.

**Soooo everybody, work calls. I promise to try and update each time I work… since I do it so much and it's so boring— you know… sitting at a desk all day… if you have any ideas for what shenanigans they should get into while staying at this hotel, please feel free to message me and I might give you a shout-out in the chapter! **

**So you all know, I'm not dead… yet. Thanks for being loyal readers! Peace!**


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